~ a lily among thorns~

"hiding is shameful"

Nari pressed her hands firmly against her temples, trying to remain calm. Her chest was slowly bubbling over with frustration and anger at her failed mission to trick Yeo-Wool.

Breathe in...breathe out...

Once she had calmed herself down, the reality of the situation engulfed her, and a sulky frown formed on her face. Groaning with failure and defeat, she slowly turned around and made her way down the path towards the Hwarang House, ready to retire for the night. As she shuffled down the dusty road, the street lamps began to fade away, leaving her to walk in the glistening moonlight.

'How am I ever going to convince that man?' she thought to herself, rolling her eyes at the thought of him.

Before she could find an answer to that question, her speculation was interrupted by the murmuring of voices in the distance. Nari raised her concentrated gaze to the path before her, her eyes meeting two silhouettes on the path ahead. One looked slightly familiar to her, the other, she'd never seen before. Squinting, Nari tried to make out who the first one was, only to soon realise it was Ji-Dwi. Happy to see company, she let off a genuine smile and fastened her pace towards him.

"Ji-Dwi!" she called, beginning to run. "It's me! Mouse!"

As Nari neared him, she noticed the second silhouette disappear into the shadows of a nearby building.

"Who was that?" she asked, as she finally reached the spot where he was standing.

Ji-Dwi's face recoiled slightly at her question, and he anxiously scratched the back of his neck.

"Just an old friend," he answered hesitantly. "He doesn't like people very much."

"Oh, okay," Nari replied, sensing his uneasiness but choosing to let the subject go. "Where are you headed now?"

"Back to Hwarang."

"Can I join you?"

"If you must."

Nari smiled and tagged along as Ji-Dwi began walking. A few minutes of silence passed before Ji-Dwi broke the quiet.

"Tell me, Mouse," he began. "Who are you really?"

Nari's throat tightened, but she managed to stay calm, even pulling off an arrogant grin.

"What's a man without his secrets?" she stated, eyeing him slyly.

"That's true," Ji-Dwi answered, reflecting on his own situation. "But you do realise you are a boy, not a man."

Nari's smile faded into a flat expression, sulking slightly.

"No need to rub it in," she muttered crossly, turning her eyes back to the front.

A few more minutes of silence engulfed the pair as they walked along the path. Nari looked up at the stars above her as they flickered brightly in the sky, wondering if one of them was her Mother looking down on her. The thought made her smile to herself, a warm comforting feeling rising within. Ji-Dwi glanced at the awe-struck boy, whose eyes were fixed on the glistening lights.

"You're strange for a boy," he said bluntly. "Most your age are interested in action and adventure – dirty faces and bloody knees. Yet, here you are star-gazing."

Nari lowered her eyes uncomfortably, clearing her throat.

"I love a good sword fight," she murmured in defence, keeping her eyes on the ground.

Ji-Dwi nodded with a smile at the flustered boy.

"You also love a good talk," he chuckled. "And getting complimented. I'm surprised your head hasn't exploded yet."

Nari glared at the man beside her.

'Men really are hard to get along with.'

Ji-Dwi met her scowl with a smug grin, and then turned his head back to the road ahead. As he did, a glint of golden light caught the corner of his eye. He looked to where it had come from, spotting a golden chain around Mouse's neck – it was the necklace he had seen Mouse holding that one rainy night. He wanted to ask about it, but also didn't want to appear that he cared. He decided to take a more undetected route.

"You said earlier that every man has his secrets. Does it ever get exhausting hiding them?"

Nari thought for a moment, before giving her answer.

"All the time."

Ji-Dwi pondered on Mouse's reply for a second. He thought about how exhausted he himself was from his secret, and how somewhat ashamed and small he felt from hiding.

"Are there time you just want to tell everyone?" he asked. "Secrets are hard to keep when they're constantly dragging you down."

"My secret is better off being kept," Nari said. "That's the only way I can stay on my feet. That's the only way I can do what I have to do."

Ji-Dwi puzzled at what the boy meant, as if what he had said was an unsolvable riddle. However, instead of asking, he decided to test Mouse, to really see if he knew how it felt to keep a secret as big as his own.

"Hiding is shameful. An honourable man should step up to his responsibilities instead of locking them away for no one to see."

Nari looked at Ji-Dwi. She could tell he didn't mean what he said. She could tell he was only looking for someone to prove him wrong. She could tell that deep down, he was hiding something, and was ashamed because of it.

"I disagree," she stated.

Ji-Dwi glanced at her quickly, an aura of hope in his eyes, silently begging Mouse to continue.

"Hiding can be hard, it can even be scary," Nari went on, reflecting on the basket she had been stuffed into on the night of her Mother's death. "But I don't think hiding is shameful. There's a time for everything – which means there's a time for hiding as well. It's not an easy thing to do – I really empathise with everyone who's found themselves in that situation. It makes you feel small...and vulnerable...even weak. It would be nice if the world was a place where hiding wasn't necessary."

Ji-Dwi's chest filled with emotion as he processed the words being said to him. He stopped walking and turned to face Mouse, who looked up at him innocently. He furrowed his eyebrows as he realised how much the person in front of him meant to his life – his mental journey. He had waited his whole life to hear those words from someone, and finally they had come, from the most unexpected person.

Ji-Dwi locked eyes with Mouse, staring once again into those sparkling blue oceans. The stars of the sky reflected from them, as if when Mouse had looked at them, they'd embossed themselves into the irises. Nari's elegant frame stood out to Ji-Dwi – the smooth skin...little nose...long eyelashes.

As he stared, he began to realise something – he might actually know what Mouse's secret really is.