Demi-Angel

chapter nineteen

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I wake up the next morning on the toilet. The first thing I see is my reflection. My hair is dried but wavy and close to curly now that it's this short. I remember taking a shower. I have pyjamas on that I even forgot I took on me. I lean back feeling my back and neck hurt.

I fell asleep on the toilet.

I stand up and look for my phone. I take it up barely any battery. Six am. I'm surprised I always wake up at times like this.

One message from Bea asking me for a girls night and I send a message, accepting the idea. I still have time to sleep so I take my towel and work clothes and walk out of the bathroom.

I'm stiff, everything hurts. I literally sat on a toilet for six and a half hour. That can't be good right?

I open the door to my room. Quinn is sleeping on the covers and when I close the door he jolts and sits up. Looking around, looking slightly freaked out. "What are you doing?"

"I feel asleep in the bathroom."

He's still confused and looks at me, then at his jeans and then me. "What time is it? What day is it?"

"It's six, Thursday."

He lies back down on the bed and breathes out a sigh. I don't think I've ever heard him sigh. I stand there and look at him. The sun is low on the sky, just lighting up the room a little. He's just laying there in low light. I don't know why I like looking at him when he's just laying there but there's something calming and soothing with it. Something I don't want to disturb.

Suddenly he turns around to face me. "What are you doing?"

He then moves so that he's laying on the side, looking at me. He takes out his hand and pats on the bed for me to come. I lean back on my heels and then forward before I walk to my bed and lie down beside him. He puts his left arm over me and breathes in my neck.

I close my eyes and feel sleep trying to take me down but I wake up when Quinn moves even closer to me. "How does the day look for you?"

He starts kissing my neck which makes it all just a hundred times harder. I can't focus and I first stay quiet and just enjoy his touch. My breathing intensifies along with my heartbeat. I roll around so that I am facing him and move down a little so that I can hug him and press my face against his chest. "Going to distract myself today. I'm going to hang out with Bea."

"Distract yourself" he says like he's tasting the sentence. "You need to distract yourself."

I hate to admit it to him, I hate to admit it at all. I know that I want to do this but still I need to distract myself. I wrap myself around him. "I'm scared, Quinn."

"I know" he says and I feel his chest vibrate when he's talking with his low voice. I can also feel his heart beating, it's beating fast.

"It's not like I don't know if I want to do this, I do. I'm just scared" I murmur against his chest.

"It's fine. I don't judge you."

I start nibbling his t-shirt with my lips and I can feel him tense up but that just makes me want to continue. "I shouldn't be like this because I dragged you into this. You're not the one that should convince me and I'm sorry for being annoying."

I continue moving my lips upwards. But Quinn presses me against him so that I'm stuck at one place. He breathes through his teeth quickly and his voice sounds strained when he talks. "Stop doing that with your lips. You're killing me."

I get the urge to continue but stop myself. I think about how it will be after the war, the freedom we'll have. Even if we don't succeed, nothing is going to be able to stop us. I'm so excited for that. To share my coming future with Quinn.