Demi-Angel

chapter twenty one

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Song: Angel on fire - Halsey

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At first, everything spins before I get a clearer vision. But when I finally understand where I am and what's happening everything starts spinning again. Today is the day, the day I've prepared for, the day my future is decided.

I barely get the chance to breathe before a wave of nervousness hits me and chokes me. I sit up quickly, trying to find air to breathe. It's feels like when I was choking in the dreams. Only that there is no cigarette smoke. 

Only that there is no dream to wake up from.

I close my eyes. I am Aurora. Not the old regular human being Aurora. Like a caterpillar, I changed for good. I am forever going to be immortal Aurora and no matter what happens I'll still be alive and breathing. 

It's going to be alright.

I can finally breathe but I still feel gross, sweaty, nauseous. Then everything hits at me at once. I got really drunk yesterday. I barely remember what happened. I've been hungover once before, it was worse than this, much worse. Then again I was mortal.

I put my hands over my face, I hope I'll feel better soon because this was exactly the condition Lana didn't want us to be in. When I put my hands on my sweaty forehead I realize that I'm only in my underwear. I look down at me. What did I do?

I look to the right where Quinn is laying, still asleep, on the covers, all clothes on. I breathe out in relief. 

Well, I only stripped for him. Heat fills my cheeks. I wonder what I did. I just remember drinking with Jessica, challenging her, slowly getting drunker and drunker. 

Why did I do that? Quinn and I were supposed to have a great evening and now I'm so swallowed by nervousness I just want to leave the bed and be alone somewhere else. I can't run away. I need to get ready, need to warm up. To be prepared for whatever's going to face me.

I wish I could procrastinate it away from me though, that I could push it forward forever. But every time I get that thought mom pops up. Every time she does my eyes starts stinging. All of this took my mom away from me.

I just wished she was here to help me. 

I sit on the edge of the bed, still in my underwear, god what did I do? What did he do? What did he see?

Ugh, I'm a mess.

I make my way to my bag which is a sports bag I hardly ever use. I grab it and walk into the bathroom. I don't look as bad as I thought, I feel better after each second. Maybe it's my healing or maybe it's some adrenaline involved.

I put on my sports clothing, brush my hair and put it up in a small bun. I don't feel as tired and hungover but I still feel disgusting. I should shower but there's no point do to so because today won't make me look any prettier. 

I quietly walk out of the bathroom to meet Quinn sitting on the bed, looking at me, smirking.

"Please tell me you're not smirking because I did something stupid" I say, voice raspy and wobbly. At this point, I don't know why.

"You don't need to worry" is all that he says.

I crawl next to him and press my forehead against his shoulder. "What happened yesterday?"

"What do you remember?"

"Jessica gave me drinks, we drank together and then I got more and more drunk, that's all."