Shades of blue and gray,
Dart across my fading sight.
Another rotten sullen day,
Has taken all my might.
I lay in the grass,
Upon a rolling meadow.
And think my thoughts so crass,
A shining broken medal.
Split to the timbers,
Like my mind has become.
Reality hating lenders,
Beat an infinite drum.
Drumming to the beat,
I get to my feet,
Look around so discreet,
And feel the burning heat.
The sun's beating down,
Upon my reddened skin.
A yellow hating frown,
Back to kill again.
Can it be that I'm hurting,
Still after all the years?
My consciousness is skirting,
Around all of my fears.
I keep them buried in this field,
As I burn with solar rays.
It's scary when they are being peeled,
Out from the earthly clay.
Monsters I can't describe,
Chasing me through the sunny days.
And my false alarming pride,
Keeps me in it's vicious gaze.
Can I stop it?
The pride that takes my love?
I wish I could drop it,
Like a burning fallen dove.
But I'm too proud,
To admit I'm wrong.
Scream my thoughts aloud,
To disrupt my lifelong song.
It's burning me to ash,
As my skin bubbles and tears.
A final sullen crash,
Erases all my cares.
But to rise from the ashes,
And become what you had dreamed,
No more lost and secret stashes,
Full of deadly screams.
The will to fight on,
Through misguided pride inside,
The will to be strong,
And learn how to confide.
This is true courage,
Lost among our lofty dreams.
This strength can nourish,
All our security it seems.
When everyone is gone,
And we’re left to our own devices,
Our true selves will be donned,
With all our hateful vices...
