For The Love Of Parker

01 | Maybe Crazy

P A R K E R

01 | maybe crazy

I didn't get sick but now as I stood on the neatly trimmed grass on Payne High, I really wish that I'd done something emergency worthy to myself. Either way with this sun, I'll be in the ER soon.

"One! Two! Three! Four and... Spin!"

I stand there drowning in my own sweats as I watch other girls jump around and do the nearly impossible spin so effortlessly and I wonder if maybe I'm from another planet. I can't understand how they can be so agile and fit on a blazing summer afternoon like this especially since its the first day of school.

Was there some kind of practice thing going on during the summer break that I wasn't aware of?

"Parker." I turn around to see Riley Trinke walking towards me and a sigh escapes my lips as I know that nothing good would come out of this. She stops a few steps away from me and places a had on her hip. "Are you in any way confused about the routines?"

"No." I answer not sure why she's asking me that.

She huffs flipping her hair back, "Well then, what the hell is wrong with you? You're doing everything wrong and killing our mojo."

"I'm sorry?"

She glares then a pretentious look of sympathy settles on her eyes as she walks closer and places the hand that was once on her hip, on my shoulder. "I know you suffered a great loss and have been away to God knows where. I really won't be mad at you if you decide to quit the team."

Now I glare at her and shrug her hand off me. "I'm not that bad. I just haven't practiced in a while that's all. I'm not quitting."

Yes I didn't like Cheer leading that much - and that's mainly because of the witch standing right in front of me - but I loved dancing and Gymnastics. Cheer leading was the closest I'd get to any one of these two in this school and town.

Plus I've been on the Cheer team since forever, quitting now is like going through the stress of making waffles and waiting all through the time its in the maker, then giving up right when you've poured syrup all over. I can't do that, no one can. And if I really want to leave town one day and enter into a good art school, then my college application needs to look beautiful. Cheer leading is one of the things that'll help me achieve that.

Cheer leading is something that can keep me busy from drowning in my own thoughts. If I quit then I'll have more free time on my hands and that's not good at all. Not now that I suffered a great loss.

In summary, quitting is not an option.

"Fine," Riley snaps, all look of pretentious sympathy giving way to the natural evil glare. "Get your act together, I won't have anyone pulling us behind."

I mimic her glare as she walks away and sigh knowing that she's right. I'm slacking badly and I really need to get my act back together. I don't want to pull anyone behind or be a disappointment. Yay to workouts and more practice. All through summer I haven't done anything useful, except from repeatedly mastering the act to cry on a spot and reclaim my mind from whatever depth it sunk into. I came back to town three days ago and I've spent my time memorizing every nook and corner of a particular gravestone.

Isn't walking supposed to count as exercise? I've been doing a lot of walking.

I absentmindedly watch the football players run around, tossing the ball around and hitting each other. The coach shouts repeatedly at Blake Trinke and feel a little pity for him. He helped us pack back into our home and we did a little catching up on the six months absence. We seem to be in the same situation and that's not surprising since we both suffered a great loss. With the quarterback lying six feet below, Blake is meant to feel up the space. Maybe its the sadness of taking over your former best friend's spot or lack of experience, but Blake is not acing this.