Speak Up // Lams

Chapter 33

- Alexander -

This is it.

The moving trucks came last night and took all our stuff so that it'll be in our new apartment when we get there later tonight. We triple checked that everything was packed. We said our farewells to Usnavi and Vanessa, Peggy and Laf and Hercules and everyone else. We're saying goodbye to Charleston, South Carolina.

I think over the past couple of months as John and I sit in the taxi, which is taking us to the airport. He's holding my hand tightly, reassuringly. Our suitcases are in the trunk, our carry-on's at our feet.

I never thought I'd find so much in South Carolina. Best friends, a boyfriend, an apartment. It's kind of crazy to see just how much my life is changing from that. Of course, I'll still have all those things but it'll be a whole new experience, not to mention a whole new place as well.

I think a lot about the good things, but I think of the bad things too. The bullying, getting beat up, the whole eating disorder mess. Nightmares, breakdowns, panic attacks. The past few months definitely contained some of the most terrible moments in my life.

But then again, if you have no bad days, how can you appreciate the good ones?

"Here you go. I'll help you get the bags out of the trunk." The taxi driver said, snapping me out of my memories. I looked out the window to see that he'd driven us up to the entrance of the airport.

John thanked him and paid him for the ride, then grabbed his suitcase. I did the same before smiling at him and grabbing onto his free hand before walking in the doors.

We got through security with no issues and set off to find our gate. I remembered the first day I came here as we walked. The airport was freezing cold that day, but it was sweltering outside. I was alone and terrified and in a place I'd never been before. Usnavi had picked me up and made me feel so welcome.

I was definitely going to miss my cousin. The way he talked me out of panic attacks in Spanish, let me hang out with him and Vanessa, and let me know that I truly belonged.  I'll forever be grateful for the fact that he's my cousin. I made a mental note to set up a visit with them at some point. Maybe he could fly up to NYC in a couple months and we could see a show, tour some of the major parts of the city. He could bring Vanessa too.

John and I sat together at the gate for about half an hour, waiting to board the plane. It seemed like the flight was going to be somewhat empty.

The sun shone through the huge windows, casting a glow over the area. I squinted a bit against the light as I rested my head on John's shoulder, hand still clutching his. And then suddenly, it was time.

"Flight 985 is now boarding. Again, flight 985 is now boarding."

"Are you ready?" He asked me, standing up and grabbing our bags. I nodded, but I felt slightly unsure about this whole plan. Would everything really work out in NYC? It's such a big city and there's so many people and so much could go wrong.

My hands began to tremble as I started overthinking about everything and anything that could possibly go wrong in the city. John noticed and pulled me into a hug, stroking my hair gently as we waited in the line to board.

"Don't overthink. We'll be totally fine and I'll be by your side the entire time. You can always count on me, alright?" He said. I nodded again against his chest.

By the time we got on the plane, my nerves had calmed down a little bit but I had a feeling they'd kick back up again. But I used John as a reassurance, thinking of how he told me he'd always be here for me.

"Goodbye, South Carolina." John said as we took off. My face was towards the window, staring at the buildings getting smaller and smaller as we flew. I smiled at John for just a moment before turning back to the glass and waving a little bit at the place I'd called home for a couple of months.

I fell asleep on John's shoulder an hour later after he had to let me know again that everything was going to be alright.

"Just speak up if you need anything, alright? I'm right here for you. And never forget that I love you with all my heart." He said before I drifted off, dreams of a city full of bright lights and thousands of people filling my mind.

a/n: and just like that, it's over.

'Listen' will be out on Friday, July 27th. Stay tuned.