the summer (a Mikey Fusco Love Story)

Chapter 56

A/N: Hope you guys like this chapter. It has a lot of secrets and fights:)

My mind raced a track in circles for at least half an hour after Mikey had left. I would've liked to say I was a girl with no shame in that moment. Strong, and secure with herself. Someone who could brush it off and act like nothing had even happened, but lucky for me it did, and I was not shameless. I was regretting everything I'd done that week. I had tried so hard for him and he....he... would've acted like he liked me no matter what I did. I thought that first week I was finally finding true love. The guy I had been searching for since I realized boys didn't actually have cooties. Why did no-one ever tell the ten year old me that boys were so troublesome? I probably would've been better off still thinking they did have cooties....and I guess in some sort of metaphor, cooties, could actually be the instinctive player behaivor all boys possessed. I still had no clue why I even continued on searching forlove but I did. Maybe it was because of the true love instinct every girl has to find her prince. and maybe.....just maybe....I would actually find him someday....slim chance though.

I had nine more days in this bitter-sweet town. I honestly didn't have a single clue as to what I was going to do with myself, break....fall apart.....cry for five straight months as I sat watching desperate housewives and ate five gallon buckets of ice cream.....I don't know. I really don't. Maybe though I've chosen to ignore that dreadfull day and face my life day by day. Text by text. What did I even have in California? A few distant friends.

Oh god. I was back to this awful thing. I'd call it a choice, but it really wasn't. It was just the fact that I would have to leave again and our friendships would change....again. I didn't want to miss them. Missing someone is a burden.

Just then my phone buzzed from across the room beckoning for me to answer the five texts I'd received in the past half an hour. I really did just want to be alone, even if it did mean skipping dinner.

Oh my god! What was I going to tell derek. I finally got up from my window facing chair and picked up my vibrating phone.

"Hello." I said in monotone.

"Hey!" I could see him smiling and probably tossing a baseball up in the air as he responded. He was happy, I certainly wasn't.

"Oh Hey Derek." I practically whispered through the phone. My voice was cutting out, plus I didn't want to risk the chance of mother overhearing.

"Hey listen, what should I wear..... dress shirt and dress pants, or casual?"

"You really don-"

"Dress pants it is." okay then. "I tried to call and text you a couple times but obviously you didn't answer, may I ask why?"

A yawned escaped my mouth before I was able to speak," ummm....I'm not sure." I tried to speak and think at the same time but it obviously wasn't working.

"What's wrong?" He asked suddenly calming down. I could imagine him taking a seat. "What ever it is...stop worrying. I'll just come over....okay?"

"Ummm.......I'm fine. Don't worry about it." I said just wanting the extra hour to myself to think.