I got down to a decent weight for the dr appointment and then for the last two days I've been binging. I also keep getting really horrible cramps. But it'll probably be better when my period ends. I tend to gain and maintain weight easier when I'm on my period so yeah. It's terrible.
But on a better note I guess: nevermind. I'm not happy enough right now to talk about it.
Back on the crappy stuff: I don't think my dad is gonna let me start T. He started yelling at me yesterday about how I should work out to look more male. And he kept saying that he wouldn't let me start it unless I worked out. But like, I can't do that. I sound like I'm whining but I'm being serious. I can't obtain the motivation to work out. If I do it just triggers me and I start starving myself. But I can't tell him that. So yeah time to start working out then collapsing and crying and not eating.
I wish I could just eat whatever I wanted and then not gain anything.
I feel horrible and fat and now I want to go run until I pass out.
YOU ARE READING
I'm trans and problematic
RandomThis is my second journal about being trans. Don't even both reading. I'll probably be dead in a week or two anyways. *trigger warning for the first few chapters*
