I'm trans and problematic

I'm a bad person

I feel like I play the victim in every argument. I think I just do it because I want people to feel bad for me. Because like, my last relationship probably wasn't even as bad as I make it out to be. And what I did to E was really terrible and I should have just sucked it up. And my eating disorder isn't even that bad I just skip a meal every now and then. And my dad and his girlfriend aren't even that bad they just get mad because I'm stupid. 

Uh so on a different note my stutter is getting worse. I was trying to tell my dad about something but I couldn't get the sentence out. Also, I was talking to Ele about my two crushes. He doesn't know that he's one of them but Talyn and I are pretty sure he has a hunch. Anyways, I was telling him that one of them (aka Ele) has a significant other and that I'm pretty sure he's straight but he kept telling me to go for it anyways. So yeah. I'm probably gonna see him again this Friday at a football game. He might go with us back to Talyn's house to have a Mario kart tournament. Talyn said that if I lost I would be his slave. I never agreed to it. Imeanimnotobjectingthough. 

 My hair is almost completely faded. It's very blonde and pastel. I'm gonna wear a neutral color outfit tomorrow so I'm gonna look really pathetic and soft.