I'm trans and problematic

lol I was gonna post yesterday but I forgot to merry Christmas

boyoyoyoy has some stuff happened.

okay, uhhh first bs is a really fast walker.

Then last night I hung out with S at an arcade. I think I named them S. idk. they're the one that likes me and I'm confused with how I feel. Anyways, after we had both left I was texting them and I mentioned that my dad didn't get me fries even though he said he would (still salty). S sent me a picture of fries and said that they're my dad now.

So I decided to respond with a lyric from the newest 1975 song: "poison me daddy." (Mostly jokingly. you can decide which is a joke)

And u h h h h yeah they didn't object.

I was also making a noose while we were on facetime and they go "yeah I know how to tie people up if you're into that.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what else

Oh yeah so idk if I've given him a fake name yet but it's the dude that I'm friends with but he always calls me a girl.

Okay so I make a lot and I mean a l o t of self-hatred jokes and whenever I make them he goes "*insert disappointed sigh/grunt* Leo." And I think that's just how he responds since he has a weird sense of humor but today I found out that whenever I joke about all of that stuff he gets mad. Not like mad at me but like mad. Idk.

And then whenever we're near each other he comes up with super offensive jokes but then he goes"mmmm no I shouldn't say that." And of course I make him say it but it's nice that he knows that there can be boundries even if his don't come close to it most of the times. I also told him that some of the things he says can be pretty triggering to self-harmers/people who used to self-harm and yeah. As far as I know, he doesn't say them anymore.

Also, he doesn't know I'm trans. He was gonna make a joke but then he went "well I mean it wouldn't make sense since you're not trans." so he knows I'm a guy and he thinks I'm cis.

So yeah I guess I'm fine right now. My emotions are skewed and I just started my period and everything hurts.