I'm trans and problematic

Am I a bad person

I need people to actually answer me on this because I think I am.

I've been thinking a lot about this recently. All I want to do in life is help people. I know a lot of people say that but the way I see it is that I'm pretty much underserving of anything I receive in life and I need to help others. 

I treat everyone well even if they hate me. I mean I think I do atleast. I try to talk to people if we have disagreements and have a civilized conversation and if they don't want to then I try not to bother them and just say I tried at least. 

But people have been saying that I'm not a good person. They aren't talking to me though so I don't know what they're talking about. I don't have anything against any of them and I've tried to be friends unless I have a specific reason that I can't. 

I want to defend myself but is it really worth trying? I know that they hate me and even if I tell them my side of the story they won't care. 

I don't think that any of them read this but if they do then idk they'll probably choose to see this as me playing victim and maybe I am and I just don't even see it. I'm probably a horrible person and I just don't see it.

The best option I see right now is to just die. I don't think any of them would care or they'd probably be happy about it since they wouldn't have to deal at me next year when I go to highschool. All in all, it would be for the best. 

Any one who has my number don't text me over this because my dad could see it and I don't want him knowing about this stupid petty middle school drama. Just message me on here or whatever.