ethereal (k.l.)

•FOURTY THREE•

•••

"I'm so tired." I leaned my head down on Kian's shoulder and closed my eyes. We had both just gotten done with our finals, which should be more exciting because that basically means the end of senior year, but we were too exhausted to notice. All of us studied for weeks on end and now we just wanted to take a nap.

I felt him kiss my forehead before he spoke. "Come on, we can go to my house." I nodded as we stood up from our desks. I gave Emilee, Selena, and Jc hugs goodbye before getting into Kian's car and leaving the school.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, I started thinking out loud, which is a habit I have when I'm around Kian. "Well, this past year was nothing like I thought it would be." I laughed.

"What'd you think it was gonna be?" He asked and reached over to grab my hand.

"I thought I was gonna keep my head down and not be noticed by anyone. I figured that nothing would happen since I was only going to be here for nine months." I told him. Looking back now, this past year has been the complete opposite. Anything that could've went wrong, did.

I saw Kian frown from the corner of my eye. "I'm sorry so much shit happened, I know it's not what you wanted." He seemed so regretful and guilty, but none of it was his fault. If anything he made my life better despite the chaos.

"Kian, you don't have anything to apologize for." He sent me a small smile before squeezing my hand gently. I leaned over and pressed my lips to his cheek which widened his smile. "You've made me really happy and I'm so grateful that you came into my life."

When he pulled up at a stop light, he gave me a quick kiss. "Ditto."

I grinned and rested my head against his shoulder as he drove. "You know...we graduate in a week. It's kind of insane how fast this has gone by." It seems like just yesterday I was hiding my face on the first day of school and looked up to see the boy from the book store. If only I knew then that he'd become so much more.

"Yeah, but on the bright side, we can go anywhere." Kian said. "You know, we can be together."

"We're together now." I began lightly tracing the tattoos on his bicep.

"You know what I mean. No petty high school drama to worry about, just us. You and me." He pulled into his driveway and quickly jumped out of the car. He ran to my side before opening my door for me. "Think about it. We can get away from here."

I held his hand as we walked into his house, my safe haven. "Sounds like a dream."

His mom was still on her shift so we headed up to his room and shut the door. I instantly collapsed on his warm bed and he was quick to follow. His inked arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer so we were cuddling under a blanket. My body relaxed and sleep was about to take over any minute. As soon as my eyes closed, I heard Kian's voice. "I love you, D. So much."

I smiled sleepily. "I love you too, Ki." I managed to get out before I was knocked out.

Hours later, I woke up in an empty bed. I frowned and sat up, looking around to see if Kian was in his room. But he wasn't. I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed my phone to check the time. It's only five in the afternoon, where could he have gone?

I crawled out of bed and left the room. I started to walk down the steps but stopped when I heard Karen's voice.

"So...have you told her?" Told who, told her what?

There was a pause before I heard Kian answer. "Um, no, I haven't." I shouldn't be listening to this. It's really none of my business...

"Kian, you need to before graduation. You have to go by next Saturday." What? Kian has to go? Go where?

"I know I do, I just need to find the right time. I don't want to upset her. She's been through enough in these past few weeks." Okay, he's definitely talking about me. Is he leaving after graduation...?

Karen's voice brought me back to their conversation. "Honey, she'll say yes, I know she will."

"I really hope so."

I really shouldn't have eavesdropped.

•••

The next day, I couldn't stop replaying their conversation in my head. I wanted to know where he was going and why, and what he wanted me to say yes to. I would ask him, but he's obviously waiting and I shouldn't make him do something when he's not ready. He'll come to me when the time's right.

But it didn't stop me from letting every possibility rattle in my head. What if he was leaving the state, or the country? How was I supposed to live with that? I wouldn't hold him back but I don't know how long I could go without Kian's warmth and kisses or our endless talks.

"How does this look?" Selena snapped me out of my never ending thoughts. I looked up and saw her in a red flowy dress. We were out shopping for our graduation outfits.

"It looks good, I like it." I said as Emilee walked out of the dressing room in a yellow shirt with a matching skirt. "That's cute, Em." I told her.

She smiled and stood in front of the full length mirror. "Thanks, love. Go try some on, already!" She shoved a bunch of dresses in my arms while Selena pushed me into the changing room. I let out a sigh and pulled on a white lace dress. When I walked out, they both smiled. "That's perfect!" Emilee squealed.

"That's the one." Selena said. I didn't answer them, I just sat back down and drifted back into my little world. "What's up with you?"

"Yeah, you've been out of it all day." Emilee chimed in. I looked up to see them staring at me with worried expressions.

I didn't want to tell them what I heard because I didn't even know what it was. There was no point in saying anything just to worry them. Besides, I'm sure it's not a big deal, anyways. "It's nothing, just thinking about graduation." I lied, kind of. They seemed to believe it.

I went home and put my dress away. I looked around my room and thought about how I don't have a plan for next fall. I've gotten accepted into some colleges, but I don't know if I want to go since I can't think of any careers that are right for me. I mean, what's point of going to another school for another four years if you won't be happy about it?

I wondered what Kian was going to do. He had applied for some colleges, got some rejections and acceptances, but he hasn't made a decision as far as I know. But the conversation he had with Karen has to be about where he's going, right? Maybe he's decided to go to a university and he hasn't told me yet. But why would he have to go next Saturday? And what would I say yes to? We've talked about getting an apartment together, so maybe it's something along those lines.

My phone dinged and I picked up the device to see that Kian texted me.

kian: hey, can i come over?

davina: yeah sure, my mom isn't home so you don't have to sneak in

kian: okay i'll be there in five minutes

Hopefully he's coming to tell me about what I overhear yesterday so I can stop worrying.

•••

hey lawleypops! new chapter :)

ugh it took me forever to write this, i'm sorry!

btw you should follow the instagram account...@/writing.kian 😇

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love, maddie