sooo these past several months i haven't been writing or updating on this account at all, and i've told you guys that i would try to keep the books going and that i'd give you guys an ending because you deserved it, but i can't write these books anymore.
i started writing kian fics when i was 13, it's something that i've been doing for almost 4 years now. but since these books have been around for years, i'm tired of them and they're not what i like to write anymore. i'd try, but nothing good came out of it. and if i'm being completely honest, i'm not into kian anymore. at least not as much.
most of my life kinda centered around him once i started watching his videos. he literally took up half my camera roll and social media. i was in love with him and obsessed and i wrote about him and read fics about him non stop. and i guess as i'm getting older and turning 17, i realized how unhealthy that is. i'm not shaming anyone for doing the same thing because trust me, i did it for years and even now it's kinda hard to let go of. i still love him, but now instead of being my main focus, he's just gonna he a youtuber i like to watch.
i felt so distant from him because of the reality house and his new gf and i realized how toxic being a stan to him was becoming for me. i'd see a picture or video of him and ayla and i'd get anxious because i loved him so much. and that's completely ridiculous. i don't want to be an insane fan girl anymore.
i went through my camera roll today, which was over 10,000 pictures, and deleted every single picture of kian. THERE WAS OVER 5,000 PICTURES OF HIM IN MY PHONE. that boy had me obsessed ngl. i also unfollowed any fan accounts on instagram and now i'm thinking of turning post notifications off for his instagram and twitter, maybe even deleting my fan account on twitter.
but i'm not going to delete this account because it's my first wattpad account that actually got some good stats, votes, and because i know you guys really liked what i wrote, at least that's what you told me 😂
but yeah, i'm sorry but i just want to step away from being a fan girl and from kian in general. i'm always gonna love that boy but just not as much.
love, maddie
YOU ARE READING
ethereal (k.l.)
Fanfiction"my role in her life was to be her anchor, but i doubt she knew that she was mine, too." ••• ON HOLD kian lawley fanfiction disclaimer/trigger warning: this fanfiction deals with mention of sexual assualt
