ethereal (k.l.)

•FOURTY FOUR•

•••

"Hey," I said as I let Kian in through the front door. The air around us felt almost suffocating as he walked past me. The tension in the room was so different from us, than what we were normally like. But I was a bundle of nerves with racing thoughts and he seemed to be in the same headspace. Even so, neither of our situations seemed to connect.

He sent me a small smile before we climbed up the stairs and into my bedroom. My fingers latched onto one of my curls and twirled it around my knuckle as he faced me. My heart was pounding against my ribcage, but I didn't know why. This was Kian and I knew that there was nothing to be afraid of. With that thought in mind, I urged my uneasiness to leave my veins.

"What did you want to tell me?" I asked, my voice straining to be steady and just above a whisper.

His brown eyes glanced over my face. "Um, I finally have some plans made for after graduation." I just nodded along since I already kind of knew this and waited for his next words. "My dad is moving out of Bakersfield and he was wondering if I wanted to move into his apartment on Saturday."

"Kian...that's," I took a second to think and let the information sink in my brain before I continued my sentence. "That's almost three hours away." I was whispering at this point.

Is he going to leave? What's gonna happen to us?

I stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to do next. I knew that I couldn't live that far from Kian, especially not now, not after hours of talking about our new life together.

"D, I'm only gonna go if you come with me." His hands latched onto mine and held on tight.

My eyes widened. "You want me to move in with you? This weekend?" My voice struggled to wrap around the words.

"It's okay if you don't want to, I just thought it would be cool, you know? Getting out of this town and finally doing what we said we would." Kian bowed his head so I couldn't see his face anymore. "And, um, you don't have to decide right away. You can think about it. No pressure."

I knew that this was something he wanted, and I wanted a life with Kian more than anything else. This was so sudden and I wished he had told me sooner, but I wasn't mad. I knew without a doubt that this was going to be good.

His hands were shaking in mine, so I gave them a squeeze, causing him to lift his chin up and look at me again.

"So, we better start packing, then?"

A huge grin took over his face as soon as I was done talking. I returned it with one of my own before he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

•••

"Hey, Mom, can I talk to you?" I asked as I walked into the living room. She turned her head away from the TV and sent me a smile.

"Of course." She patted the seat next to her on the couch. I slowly made my way over to her and tried to remember everything I had rehearsed in my head just minutes ago. I silently prayed she would understand. "What's going on, honey?"

I counted the seconds of silence in my head before I forced myself to blurt it out. "I'm moving to Bakersfield."

The words were rushed but I could tell she understood them from the shocked look in her eyes. She stayed quiet for a few moments and I felt blood rushing to my face. "Excuse me?"

I gulped. "Kian's dad is moving out of his apartment and he's moving in, and he asked me to go with him." She just stared at me with wide eyes and her jaw practically touching her lap. I didn't know what else to do but ramble. "We're leaving this Saturday. His dad has already paid for this year's rent and we'll get jobs as soon as possible." Her expression didn't change.

Instead of babbling like an idiot and making it worse, I shut my mouth and waited for her to talk. It proved to be the best option when she finally spoke up after five minutes of dead silence. "You're moving out of town, right after graduation, with a boy you've been dating for less than a year?" I gulped again.

"Mom..." I sighed lightly. "It's not like that. We're not rushing into this, we've talked about doing this for months. The opportunity just popped up at the right time."

"That still doesn't change the fact that you've only known him for nine months." She exclaimed, her voice raising. "And you're just gonna up and leave again? I just got you back."

My heart sunk down to my feet. I knew that I had hurt her when I ran away, but I didn't know it was this bad. Guilt swarm around under my skin until it was the only thing I felt. "I'm not gonna be that far away..." I mumbled but I'm sure it didn't make a difference.

"Davin-" She suddenly stopped before she could scold me. Her eyes focused on something and I trailed her gaze until it landed on my tattoo.

Shit.

I quickly covered it with my hand, knowing it would do nothing since she already saw it. "Davina!" She screamed loud enough for me to want to cover my ears, but I managed to force the urge away. "What the fuck do you think you're doing with your life?! Getting tattoos, running away, and moving to another city?! I shouldn't have let you get back with that boy, he's a bad influence on you!"

Even though her words hurt, anger boiled around my pain and covered it up in seconds. I was tired of her back-and-forth, of her need to make every decision for me. I was finally living my life the way I wanted to and not having any regrets. I was no longer the scared wallflower that hid her face and spoke quietly, if she spoke at all. I was finally someone that I was proud of, and she can't take that away from me.

When I finished thinking, her loud voice swarmed my ears again, and I realized that she had been yelling this whole time. I've gotten pretty good at tuning her out.

"Stop." I said, surprised by how firm and loud I sounded. Her eyes widened once the simple word was out in the air. "I'm eighteen. I can move out if I want to with who I want to. I'll be with who I want no matter how long I've known them. I'll get a tattoo if I want one and I'll leave when I want." She looked like she was about to scream her head off, but I continued talking before she got the chance. "I'm not asking your permission to go, I'm just making you aware of what my plans are."

In that moment, I was pretty damn proud of myself. I didn't fall for her guilt trips and follow her ridiculous orders. I stood up for myself, and it felt amazing.

I stared at her bewildered expression before sending her a sweet smile. "If you'll excuse me, I have some packing to do."

•••

hey lawleypops! new chapter :)

maybe davina snapped 🤯

update coming soon...? idk maybe 😉

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love, maddie