ethereal (k.l.)

•TWENTY TWO•

•••

This is the first time I've ever loved someone. So how would I know what love feels like? How could I say that I truly love him if I didn't know what love was like before this?

But when I looked up at Kian, I just knew. I knew that nothing in this world could replace him. I felt this warmness in my chest and a tingle in my fingers. And I didn't panic. I wasn't scared. This is something that I want, something that I've been craving for. I've been getting little tastes of it throughout the months and now it's all over my taste buds.

What does he feel...does he love me? Oh god, I'm not going to do that whole sappy 'he loves me, he loves me not' thing. I'm better than that, right? Should I ask him? Wait for him to tell me?

Too many questions, not enough answers.

The one thing I'm praying for is that my love isn't unrequited. I don't think I could survive that kind of pain. I've been through a lot in my short eighteen years, but I think the hole Kian would leave in my chest would be too big for me to move on from. It'd scar and bruise and tear me apart. I've let him into my chaotic life and let him see parts of me I hid from the world. If that all went to waste, if it disappeared, I would break.

But god, I love him with the intensity of thunder and lightening. It roars fiercely throughout my entire body and causes my bones to spark with emotion.

I really want to kiss him right now.

He's sleeping beside me. A fuzzy blanket is resting below his chin as soft snores escape his soft lips that I couldn't stop staring at. His brown hair rested against his forehead and I desperately wanted to run my hands through it. I smiled lightly when I looked at his long eyelashes.

I'm being really creepy right now. I'm watching him sleep, isn't that weird? Would he be freaked out if he suddenly woke up and saw me staring at him?

My run-on thoughts were interrupted as soon as his arm snaked around my waist. I chewed on my bottom lip softly when I saw his eyes flittering open. He smiled, looking all cute and sleepy. I couldn't help but do the same. But I bet I didn't look nearly as cute as him.

"I like this." He said, his grin wide, his voice deeper and a bit rough. I think I fell in love a little more.

"Like what?" I asked. Kian reached over and placed a curly strand of my hair in between his fingers. I looked at it and immediately blushed from embarrassment. "Oh...I haven't put any product in my hair yet, it probably looks horrible." I ranted.

He shook his head, "No, it's beautiful. I love it. And I love waking up next to you."

The blush remained but for a different reason now. "You're too nice." I said.

Before he could reply, a door opened and closed, then footsteps sounded from the stairs. Kian's mom came downstairs and smiled once she saw us. "Hey, sorry if I woke you." She said and walked over to the front of the tent.

I smiled and shook my head while sitting up. Kian did the same. "No, you didn't." I said. "Good morning, Mrs. Lawley."

"Honey, you can call me Sheila." She said. "I came home from work late and saw you two passed out while The Lion King was playing. This is some fort you've got here."

"Yeah, I set it up before school yesterday." Kian told her.

She smiled at her son. "Aw, aren't you a good boyfriend?" Sheila commented, making him wave his hand dismissively while shrugging. "All you guys did was sleep, right?"

Kian and I answered at the same time. "Yeah, nothing happened." I chuckled nervously and went back to being embarrassed.

Sheila nodded and started to walk away, "Okay, I'll leave you lovebirds alone now. Just don't forget to pick up when you're done."