Always is not. Every day is.

chapter 2

I wake up at around 6 am, again just four hours of sleep and if we exclude the nightmares then it makes up about three hours.

Wow. Proud of myself.

It's Monday and so I take my backpack out from the cupboard a pair of shorts and a crop top. I have a test today and the only thing that I am proud of myself is that with all the bad circumstances around which my life revolves I always keep my studies out from it. The surrounding doesn't count when it comes to my studies. All what requires are the interest and the greatest thing is that I always have it. Studies are the only thing that distracts me besides novel and songs well that too are specific.

The only songs that I listen are of Ryle Kincaid I have never met him and I have never been to his concerts but there is something that keeps pulling me towards him and his songs. There is something that I cannot ignore besides his muscular body, light hazel eyes, blonde hair. And other features that are more than attractive. His songs relate to my life. Whenever I listen to them I feel like he is just writing all of them on me. Yeah I know that's too crazy of me but I cannot help it. I have searched a lot about his past and particularly what motivates him to write such lifesaving and deep songs but I never find any details other than this that he had a bad past and refuses to discuss anything about it. I like him a lot. I like his songs.

I love his songs.

His songs are the only songs that I listen. It gives me some strength that I never find from anywhere else. I want to meet him and tell him for what a great role his songs play in pushing me to face my life. I want to but I cannot. Of course he is a great singer with high standards and won't even set eyes on a small creature like me out of millions of other creatures who are insanely running after him.

After getting ready in an hour I walk towards the kitchen to find something that I can have for myself and just then I see my mother and him coming out of their room. Now I already know that my whole day is going to be worst and pathetic. My mom is all dressed up probably going to her work and luckily the same is the case with him except the difference is that he really don't have any work .as far as my senses are concerned. But I am glad that he won't be around me .I can give up everything for such moments only if I have the courage and things to give. I can't bear him for now.

"Hey sweetie. Good morning. So how's your preparation for the test?" my mom asked walking towards me. "Good morning. Yeah it's great." I answered. despite knowing the fact the I always manage to get high grades she still ask about my preparation and this one thing keeps my hope high that at least I have someone with a caring attitude towards me.

"I hope that you ----"she was in her middle of the sentence that her phone interrupts and so she walk out of the house telling me goodbye In between and kissing my cheeks.

I never get the opportunity to spend some time alone with my mom and one part of me doesn't like it while the other part of me tells me that it's good.

It tells me that "layken the more you are going to have time with your mom the more you will become transparent and so you actually know where that will lead to. "And so I admire the latter.

Without throwing a glance at my father-by-name I carry the can of juice to my bedroom .that's all I have most of the time. I am just never hungry especially after the sight of the monster that makes me jump to this conclusion that I am never hungry because he never leaves me. Even when he is not around I feel his dirt everywhere.

He was about to come closer to me with his dirt that his phone rang too and I give off a sigh of relief.

Wondering how was I able to sense him getting closer without looking in his direction? Well because his smell is pasted in my mind and in my insides. I can smell it from a twenty miles distance.