Always is not. Every day is.

chapter 13

I made my way to the back hall still trying to figure it out that how will I actually start my conversation? How will I explain all the things to him? How will I tell him that he is my savior and did that one thing which someone else wouldn't have done? How will I tell him that what a serious positive impact he and his songs left on me and my life no matter how much stupid it may sound?

Thinking about all these questions and possibilities I enter the back hall and on the entrance I gave the card to the guard. As soon as I enter the first person I see is Ryle standing beside a man who I know is his best friend- Ridge because half of his Instagram feed is filled with pictures of them.

There is a big crowd on one corner of the hall as well. I moved forward towards Ryle still having all the questions in my mind. He doesn't notice me all at once so I eventually decide to say something even though I don't know what. I cannot waste these precious 10 minutes of my life.

"He---yy" I clear my throat. With this Ryle turn over his eyes now staring me. I forget everything. Everything.

"Heyy" he reply with his deep voice. Again like always I get lost in his words and his voice. I stare. I simply stare.

"Heyy! Are you even okay?" he say once again snapping his fingers in front of me. "So, you want to have a picture or something."

"Umh no, no. I--- actually. I- am ---- like here to-"I manage to say something but my words just jumble up.

Ryle frown in a way as if I am trying to annoy him. It is clear in his eyes that he is about to say something harsh.

"Okay you don't want a picture so what else? You want to share something?" he say taking a step towards me.

"I—it's like—what can I just you know-huh maybe-ugh, I think-I think." I stammers.

This irritates the shit out of him. When I don't say anything he spit out.

"Do you have any idea that you are actually wasting your time and my time because I am not here to receive dumb people like you who cannot even figure out what she wants to say? I am not here to deal with stupid people do you understand. you hear that. Either you say something or either you measure your way out from here. God who are you? like wasting money." He reply harshly like I wondered.

"I- am sorry- --"I reply.

Silence.

"WOULD YOU EVEN LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING ELSE BESIDE THIS? GOD DAMN IT." He scream. I shiver with his words. Everyone in the hall starts staring me and him trying to note what actually happened.

Ridge come towards us in order to take in the situation. "What happened Ryle?" he asked.

"FUCK people like them Ridge. She is not saying anything. She is wasting time. Can you let the guards take her out because I don't have any potential to bear people like her? Guards. Take her out." He scream.

"Calm down Ryle." He say putting his hands on Ryle's shoulder. I don't even observe that the tears are now rolling down my face. People are watching me as if I am someone not among them. Someone who doesn't belong here with them. I take my bag pack off with the intention to take the canvas out. As I am about to give the canvas to Ryle. Two arms grab my hand. I turn back and see that one of the guard is holding me and dragging me towards the exit.

"I AM SO SORRY. PLEASE RYLE TAKE THIS CANVAS. I HAVE HA---VE THIS FOR YOU." I shout ignoring my cracking voice and the tears that are still rolling down. But it seems like Ryle didn't hear me or maybe he ignored me. Because instead of taking the canvas he said "take her out I said. Her thing must be a bullshit like her."

With this the guards grab me out from the hall. I am still holding the canvas and my backpack. My vision is blurred due to the tears but still I start running towards the parking lot freeing myself from their muscular arms.

I run and run until I reach to the car. Allon and Adam are standing side by side holding hands and laughing together but as they spot me Allon's eye scan my face and she comes running towards me followed by Adam.

"Layken! What happened? Why are you crying? Everything okay?" she asked tensely.

"I need to go home Allon please." I sob.

As she notice the canvas in my hand she speaks "Layken why didn't you give him the canvas? You have to tell me that what happened or else we are going nowhere. Please layken." She beg for my answer.

"He snapped me Allon. I got so nervous in fr--- front of him. I I--- wasn't able to say anything. I didn't know so he shouted and the guards grabbed me and.and. Allon I want to go back instead of talking about this." I cry hard.

"That bastard." She spit.

Allon hug me saying "okay, okay you both go and sit in the car I am going to be back okay? Just 10 minutes. "

"Where are you going allon?" Adam ask.

"I am going to be back." She reply.

Before I am able to say something Allon lean forward and snatch the canvas from my hand and right then I know where she is going.

"Allon you are not going in there. Its fine allon. Allon don't be stupid." I scream but she ignores me and move in the direction that I took minutes ago.

"Come layken. Sit in the car." Adam say while holding my hand.

I sit in the backseat and cry hard. Adam is out waiting for Allon. I don't bother to hide my face as I cry even harder.

Thanks to this part of night.

I cry harder and harder.

You wasted the opportunity Layken. What else you know?