Always is not. Every day is.

chapter 29

Ryle's POV:

Her agreement to shift in with me came as a huge surprise because I didn't have this sure idea that she will actually agree and so I bought a house here in California instead of taking her with me to my home town Vegas because if I would have mentioned her about flying to another state so obviously she would have never agreed because of her university and other common matters including the fact that Jule is buried here so I didn't give it a second thought and bought a house here near Tahoe lake, out where she can go and have some time for herself whenever she wants to have space from the suffocated world, because being apart from her is impossible now.

Ridge on the other hand moved in with Allon near our house which is only about 10 minutes away so that it wouldn't be difficult for Allon to meet Layken. Even though only a week has been passed but they seem to get along nicely together, not like they went on a date yet but Ridge mentioned me last night that he is working on some of his big plans to take her out on a date so that as a future he would definitely not receive a 'no' as an answer and I am happy that he actually found his original feelings of love. They visited layken two days before as well but didn't stay longer since Layken started having her headaches like every other day and insisted on taking some sleep. We all know that it's indeed difficult for her to accept facts.

The week passed just like that. Nothing happened. Layken barely stepped out of her room and when she did it was for a glass of water only. I had to check on her so many times each day in order to know whether she took her medicines, food, fruits and every essential thing. I checked on her thrice every night and some times more than that in order to make sure that she is all okay and is not having any nightmares like she did at the start of the week, continuously for three days ending up with no sleep at all. But all this week we hardly spoke anything to each other and now it's like my heart is aching to hear her voice.

It was difficult for her to adapt to a new place with a complete new situation and this made things harder for me as well. During this period of time I have seen her cry wildly whenever she used to get a nightmare, I have seen those transparent crystal drops appearing in her clear eyes whenever she listen to a song. I have seen her hands shaking as if the temperature is indeed low when she had something heavy in her hands like a filled glass of water. I tried to make her smile, to get that laughter out from her mouth but so far nothing worked. I haven't seen those curves of her lips lately neither I have heard her laugh. We hardly spent some time together. This broke me. What happened to her broke me as well and maybe due to this reason I came up with completely different songs containing elements like romanticism, survival, hurt, agony, despair and betrayals along with sarcasm containing ingredients belonging to the same genre, this had my members question that what actually happened to me or what is the reason behind all these songs, from where are they coming and each time I ended up shifting the topic.

Because me myself needs to figure out for what's happening to me.

Right now only few minutes have passed that I am on my bed shirtless and staring up at the ceiling. I just checked on layken and she is fast asleep. Tonight is just like every other night in which I am trying to figure out for what is happening to me? Why am I actually doing all this? Worrying about a girl who I just met weeks ago who should just be like any other fan? Why did I bring her in in my house? Why seeing her sad or why hearing her cries turn up my insides? What is it all about? Why am I trying everything in the world to show her reasons to live? Why am I doing this? Who is she? And just like every other time I don't get any answer to any of my questions except a tiny hint that its love. I haven't felt any such thing for any girl and so I went up searching sites to know for what is love? How to know that a person is falling in love with some girl? How it actually happens? How is it happening to me so suddenly? Even though I haven't seen her naked, spent years with her or shared kisses with her.