Always is not. Every day is.

chapter 18

Layken's POV:

"Right. I was just you know mom caught in some works including those of university that I didn't even get a little bit of time to look up at myself in the mirror. At that pretty me. That's the only reason. Kindly don't think like I don't love you and etc. etc. etc. please. I will come and visit you sooner and not later." I said ignoring all of her sighs at the other end of the phone.

But despite all my excuses that seemed pretty much valid to me while of course not to her she manage to say "just because your head is stuck in some of those so called indispensable paramount works of yours doesn't really mean that you are going to turn a blind eye to my calls and make excuses for not coming up here. Only if I would have known that shifting at Allon's place will take you away from me believe me I wouldn't have ever ever allowed you and I mean it layken." And just like this that hint of merriment disappears turning into what's known as despondency and suddenly the side of me making up melts and freezes into that same okay-I-agree or fine-I'll-make-it layken.

Breaking the silence over the phone I at last state "okay mom. Just don't sound all that grief-stricken and prostate way. I will come today. I promise. I will come probably alone without Allon because Adam will be coming here so I will be coming to see you and we will have some time together. Okay?"

I know this step might not be good where I have to come eye and eye with my father-by-name when I am actually recovering from unanticipated appalling gruesome side of me.

And in a micro second my words were able to bring back her same possessed jocular sound.

"Ohh my God. Layken I love you so much. What time will you be coming at. And what about the dinner. Should I cook that same Consommé, Soufflé, Croissants? And what about your favorite Quinoa & Chicken salad with a fresh Greek yogurt and mint dressing or may----"she goes on and on listing all my favorite dishes.

"hey hey mom. You are not supposed to bother yourself too much okay. I might not stay till dinner" because I don't want to meet that one person I am running worlds away from "or just cook something easy. Don't panic okay?" I cut her short. The door to my bedroom opens and Allon makes her way inside in her nightie yawning and trying to stretch her best mimicking sofie dossi like always making me laugh hard. That's our morning.

"why are you laughing like that huh" my mom says bringing me back to that part of reality where I am talking to her agreeing to meet her today ignoring the fact that seeing that one monster living there might not end things great or bona fide.

"Haaa. It's nothing besides Allon and her lame idiotic acts. So I am ending the call now. Okay mom? Meet you then. Bye"

"Okay. Can't wait" she sings and I end the call bringing my attention back to that bitch sitting in front of me who is now all scrupulous maybe because of my unusual words like meet you then. Before I can tell her everything she say "what layken? You are going somewhere like you just said meeting your mom? But where? At her house?"

She is now standing and walking here and there like she do when she doesn't get a situation. "Yes. I tried to say no but Allon you know that I can't just avoid her and not go back to that house and not meet my mom just because of him knowing that all this act might put my mom in doubts and uncertainty which is that last thing I ever want."

"But layken. It's not safe going there meeting him by chance. Like are you getting this? How will you be normal after everything what he did to you layken. You could have called your mom here or maybe arranged some other day. We would go together and ----"she pause for a while like making a thorough decision "or I am going with you today. yes I am going with you We will go together and I can say no to Adam and arrange tomorrow with him. How about that. Like I can't stand the chance of you meeting him layken. It's like-----"

I walk to her and grab her shoulders "Allon shshhhh." I know it's going to be a lot difficult and wearying Allon I know but I cannot ignore him and my mom forever or I cannot just depend on you always. This is something that you as well as I know. So how about you let me face those things that are my part to deal with. Hiding will not make anything easier. And I have changed now I know how to react. Why are you not getting this? And I don't really want you to cancel your plan with Adam and scaring the shit out of yourself as well as mine. He will not eat me at least."

"Layken but---"I cut her short. "I don't want to have any buts Allon. Baby I am going to be alright trust me. I will make the visit short and will come back soon not like I am staying over there or perhaps I can. Sounds like a good idea." I say in a teasing tone.

"Shut up!" she hit me hard on my shoulder and walk away to the door.

"Ouch! You fat shit" I sound playful.

"How about you make me a waffle slider like a fried egg, a sausage Pattie and some cheese, wedged between two Belgian waffles till I get fresh. Your minor punishment." She orders.

"Minor punishment huh" I sigh. "Okahh Madame" vocalizing it in my cheap Latin tone.

She twirl and exit and so do I but in an opposite direction towards kitchen .

RYLE's POV:

I hear the door to my room open, foots approaching and finally a knock on the door.

"What are you doing in there Ryle?" ridge ask

"Probably making myself a hot lava soapy cake with the shower running on my hand and my body all wet. What do you say?" I say loudly over the noise of the gushing water.

"AHHAHAHAH. Not funny though" he laugh.

"Still you laughed." I say as a matter of fact.

"Okay shut up and listen to me. Dillon just texted me the address of layken's house. "I become alert. "It's around three hours away from here so we will be leaving in the evening and will more likely" without waiting for another second I turn over the tap wrap the towel around my waist without drying and open the door not caring about any drop of water wetting the floor as I make my way to my bed leaving Ridge mouth open.

"Arrive there by night" he swallow and continued. "We have a lot of time Ryle not like getting out of the shower will pass that any quickly."

"I want you to go with me." I say ignoring his previous comment.

"Who said that I am not going with you? Of course I will go because I am just as much curious about her tale like you are because I can't wait to know what it was all about that changed you so much that you brought all those fans gifts here in the hotel and you can't think of anyone else or anything else besides that layken who I think is just like any of the other fans dying after you and fantasizing things about you. Who knows maybe she lied to you and made up a fake story." Ridge throws himself on the couch, relaxing.

"I won't say that such possibility cannot exist but Ridge I want to know who she is. Like her eyes didn't lie she was scared at that time and I being the bastard couldn't read what was written behind those and now every time I close my eyes her eyes are the only thing that comes straight in front of me. Words can lie but eyes don't neither do the feelings. Only if I would have---"

"Oh shut up not again Ryle. You are sounding more like a Romeo. This if then logic of yours bores the shit out of me. It will be great if you think less and focus on going there today. And I focus on that lady Allon. I like her confidence. Ugh I wish she doesn't have a boyfriend so that I can stand a chance. I find her nice. Okay?" He half laugh. And lay back completely shutting his eyes.

"Right." I say. Only say while not agree because how can I agree about not thinking about that one person who shook me completely and occupied my mind since the second she left a piece of her with me. I can never agree. All I am thinking about right now is that how will I face her and look pass her eyes while not undressing her secrets and that pain she endured and still endures all alone.

Only I wish she is true and so is her story among all other 7.6 billion or perhaps more than that. Life is like a complicated piece of art.