Always is not. Every day is.

chapter 24

Layken's POV:

Since the moment I have set my feet here in my previous home it seems like my mom is just so unable to keep her exuberance all inside or let's just be precise and say that she is so much happy to see me after a long period of time that metaphorically seems like an year or two.

I am sitting here in the living room staring at all of the walls enclosing me in since my mother is upstairs in my room trying to find some albums just to recall the previous memories which I am not looking forward to especially those when we went to the Disney land for the very first time. It wasn't just the first time for me to go to the Disney land but also my very first time of being harassed by my father-by-name.

I still remember that when my mom broke the news that we will be going to the Disney land and will have all the fun to ourselves I was really excited and so in excitement I went running to my father to say a big thanks to him because during those time he used to be really busy in all of his works and we never got to have any family time. So he hugged me really hard and only if I would have known that he will end up kissing me on my lips I for sure can say that I would have never in the world would go to him ever.

Just because of his disgusting act my whole exhilaration for the trip melted and I was really quite for the whole trip trying to dodge my mom's questions for how am I not excited the same way I was hours before. And that time I knew that my mom definitely had no idea about it and not like my father would be telling anything about this to her, at least I gained this much sense at that time. And so all of his disgust started from that day and here I am hiding it till now from my mom for the sake of her happiness.

So yes, I don't want to look back at all of those photographs and see that sad face of the child I had been again knowing the fact that all what I was hiding from everyone at that time is very the same today as well.

I am thinking about all of this including things like how once I used to feel myself trap when I used to live here, how much my mom loves me and what an utter selfish person I was being from not meeting her and where in the world is that monster, what if he arrive and something happens because I am kind of having this feeling since a long time. I don't want to think about any possibility that can occur so I try to push this miserable thought back but see it wanders and come back again taking all of my attention again and again.

Ugh. What effect he left on me.

I am trapped in my thoughts when suddenly the doorbell rings and I am taken back to the reality. I get up from the couch walking towards the door having no idea for who in the world would come at this time. Not like my mother is expecting any visitor so I open the door and when my eyes land on the person standing outside the whole world becomes silent where nothing except the beats of my palpitating heart exist. The world loses all of its air leaving my lungs all empty. I go numb and my vision blurs showing me the very last human I would ever want to see.

Him.

"Hey you! I didn't know you'd be coming here." He smirk. A gulp rise in my throat as my ear takes in his husky toned words and I swallow it hard.

He take a step towards me and my heart starts beating even faster. A part of my brain is telling me to take a step back while the other one is telling me to stay firm as if I am not even scared.

After building and changing myself into someone I never thought I would change into, with determination I choose the latter and stand straight eyeing him hard as if I can cut him with it giving him deeper scars compared to what he gave me.

Oh! I wish.

He takes a step more towards me and now I am able to smell his disgust. He bring his hands towards my cheeks and before his fingertips are able to touch me I hit him on his hands pushing it away from me.

"Don't. Just don't. I mean it" I whisper a bit loudly.

Before he is able to say something or do we both hear the steps of my mom of course, approaching. And the monster takes a step back. But wait! Why is she running? I haven't seen her run ever in my life.

The steps come closer and closer louder and louder and then she stops as soon as she see me. Tears are rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes are all red and so is her nose. Why is she crying?

"Mom? Everything-"I say as I take a step towards her but she cut me off by moving her finger in the air.

She starts moving towards her husband and I notice that she is holding a piece of paper that looks familiar to me. Strange.

She is moving closer and closer to him ignoring me as if I am not even in the room. The tears are still flowing down her cheeks to the floor and her chest is heaving as if every air that she is taking in feels like a burden to her or maybe she is in a state of condition where all the oxygen in the air seems really less. When she reach him she stop and stare hard into his eyes. She is breathing heavily.

She finally manage to deliver the words, "did you. Did you, do that, to her, to layken?" as soon as I am aware that this conversation involves me I am shook as the confusion occupies me. What is it all about?

"Did what? What are you talking about?" he say like he is not getting the situation like me.

She inhale and exhale for 10 second straight as if whatever she is about to say now is really difficult for her to say.

"Did you, Dillon did you raped her?" as soon as the words escape her mouth my world breaks.

It seriously breaks.

In millions of pieces.

My lung loses all of the oxygen that exist

My heartbeat stops.

Everything stops.

My eyes drop to that familiar piece of paper that she is gripping tight and the consciousness hit me hard like a bullet.

My suicide note? My-my room?

Oh fuck......