Always is not. Every day is.

chapter 7

Since that day Allon and I have been stuck together with glue. I spent most of the time at Allon's place because it's my escape and I have been feeling so alive lately. She is not yet aware off my hellish life and I don't know if I would be able to tell her. It's not that I don't want to but my wish is not my command. I fear that maybe after knowing she will be disgusted by me and wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. I know she is a very understanding person and will not judge me but still I don't want to lose my one and only friend.

Today is Saturday and I am spending my weekend at Allon's house. As it was a Saturday we woke up quite late and then Allon took me for shopping, we spent hours roaming in the mall. I must say Allon is shopaholic, I mean this girl literally bought a whole new wardrobe and now she is thinking where she will wear all this? Seriously she is crazy but a fun type of crazy! Now we're sitting in the cafeteria eating big Mac and sipping soda.

"Allon!!!"

"Yep." she spoke with her mouth full.

"Why do you live alone? I mean where your parents are?"

She stopped eating and kept her burger down and is looking at me with a blank face. After few seconds she finally broke the silence.

"They died!"

I don't know what to say since I am surprised, after composing myself I finally speak.

"I am sorry."

"No its fine. .... it happened a long time ago!"

"How?" I cautiously asked.

"I....i...they. I"

"You don't have to if you don't want to speak about it."

"Noooo ... I need to let it all out."

"Don't worry I am here for you, after all this is what friends are for, being there for each other."

"I was 12 and it was my birthday, they were working and they usually were busy with their business but I loved them.....infact I love them so much. I swear.... It was my birthday and they plan to surprise me I thought they forgot my birthday but actually they bought me a beach house. I remember when I was young I used to lie on my moms lap or put my head on my father's shoulder telling them that I want to live on a beach house so I can sleep to the sound of waves crashing and wake up to the ocean roaring, so I can run along the shore with my father chasing me and my mom laughing at us, so late at night when I cannot sleep I can go sit on the sand and look at the stars above and admire the Moon high up in the sky and then my mom would see me and come outside and ask me what's wrong we both would sit under the sky and I would open my heart to her and she will take me inside and tell me not to worry...."

At this point we both are teary eyed trying hard not to cry.

She continued."B...b...But Layken these are just dreams...dreams which I wanted to turn into beautiful memories but guess what some dreams are just not meant to be true. They drove to the beach house to take care of all the arrangements for my birthday and I thought they were going for another business trip even on my birthday.....i...i. I fought with them Layken....t...told them that there is nothing important for them other than their work...I fumed up on them.....they were coming back from the beach house to pick me up, to take me to the beach house, to surprise me but they never reached home...A truck whose break were failed hit their car from the side. Their car went tumbling over and the truck kept moving... squi ...squishing..Ng the c.C.car Layken it all happened I front of me ...I saw it all with my own eyes.They were just around the corner...Layken I saw their car...it was flat. They died on the spot and I couldn't do anything...i. I was unable to save them. I didn't even get the chance to tell them that I am sorry and tell them that how much I love them. The last thing I told them was that I h..Hate them and Layken this is not the truth....i regret it. If only I could go back and change what I said to them. I love them. I love them so much. I. I.."

Right now she is hysterically crying, damping my whole shirt, hugging me tightly.

I don't even know what to say she faced such a big loss and yet she is so strong living an independent life smiling and laughing.

Many people in the food court have started with spring by now so I carry the bags and take Allon to the washroom so she can compose herself and then after that we head towards her apartment.

The whole car ride was silent I was clueless as to how to cheer her up and felt bad for ruining her mood and bringing up her parents, reminding her about their tragic death, I felt so bad for making her remember because I know what it feels like when you want to forget something but somethings just don't let you forget and you just feel helpless, not knowing what to do.

But I realize something that she has no one yet she is so strong, stronger than me. I am glad I didn't kill myself that day, glad that I am breathing, glad that I fought my inner demons and tried to be stronger and didn't let my demons take control of this Layken.

Allon has been through it all alone, she was all alone at the age of twelve where I, I at least I had my mom with me.

She is so much stronger than me and so much wiser than me now she is one of the person who marks Layken's existence.

Layken will come out of the shadows Stronger, Wiser and Powerful and one day she won't be able to believe her own capabilities.