Always is not. Every day is.

chapter 15

Ryle's POV:

I watch as that girl leave. I don't know what to say. She left me so blank. Honestly. Of all the moments that I have been through in my life this is the very first time when I don't have any word to describe the situation.

"What the hell is wrong with you Ryle?" Ridge ask while walking towards me. "Do you even have any idea how much you hurt that girl. Okay fine I understand that your life was also a mess before. I understand that your past is dissonant and it affected you but that doesn't mean that you have to be this much arrogant to most of the people in your life. This doesn't mean that you are going to treat people like a trash. Did you look at her? I mean she came all this way to give you a present after all what happened in her life and what did you do? Snapped her? Said that she was dumb, stupid and retarded? Made your guards kick her out? Oh myy!"

"Ridge, I didn't have any idea. Okay. I didn't know that she went through this much and oh! I know Ridge that I have to sort out my attitude now. I know it's too much. I feel so bad Ridge. I feel as if someone just threw a punch at my face or shooted arrows on my chest directly. I know it's wrong but I cannot control myself. It seems as if me myself is out of my reach." I say trying my best not to fall over my words.

He take his head in his hands and release a heavy breath.

"It's okay Ryle. It's okay. You can change yourself. It is going to take time but once you are going to put yourself in practice things are going to get different their own way. It's never too late to be what you might have been. It's never too late to change yourself Ryle." With this he hug me tightly.

Ridge has been my best friend since I was in grade 1. We went to the same school, same colleges and same universities. After our graduation and huge ups and downs in my life we both decided to enter the music life together. Ever since our childhood we learned to play guitar and piano together we used to write our own songs. No matter how much silly and meaningless they used to be. We were always so proud of our efforts and used to play it all day long. Our mothers are even the best friends of each other since a very very longtime. We were neighbors of each other and that's how I met Ridge who later turned out to be my classmate too. Ridge's mother Linda is just like my mom and I still remember how I used to go and stay at his home for so many weeks. We share everything our mothers, our homes, our toiletries, our clothes and everything. We are more like siblings and that's the only reason why I never felt any need of a sister or a brother and the same is with Ridge too.

I push back my thoughts and hug that person back who has always been with me through every dark darker and darkest moments of my life.

"Ridge I want you to cancel the meet and greet I guess I just want to go back to the hotel and take some rest." I say pulling myself from him.

"Okay fine, I am gonna do that. Don't forget to take the canvas Ryle. I will meet you later okay? After wrapping up the things from here. Cya then. Take care. "He hug me once more and then walk out of the hall.

I pick up the canvas and walk towards the lobby.

"I want you to get all the presents and gifts and load it in the car. Make sure I get them at my place tonight okay?" I ask one of the guards.

"Yes sir." He reply.

Who knew that tonight will go like this bringing two absolute unknown girls in the hall whose words can affect me in such a way?

I walk to my car and after relaxing for a while and taking a deep breath my eyes fall at the canvas by my side. It's wrapped in a black plain sheet and there is a small card pasted on it with "for you Ryle" written on it.

As I tear the sheet the whole world comes to a halt. My jaw drop to the ground and for the second time in my life I have no words to describe the masterpiece in front of me. Words like beautiful, wonderful, amazing, sublime, spectacular are too little to appreciate the flawless skill I have in front of me. As I turn the canvas to know the name of that girl I find a piece of paper tucked at the back. I take it out and read.

"Dear Ryle,

I don't know whether this small present would be able to reach its destination but I hope that it do. It means a lot. I never had any opportunity to express how and what I feel for you but as now my best friend has given me one as my birthday present I think I need to tell you these things just so that you know how much your little acts and your random songs are influencing random lives like me. I want to make you feel proud of your own self. So it goes like this that there was this one life I had few months ago where I was abused by my real father-by-name who always takes me and my mom like sluts. I kept myself quite because I couldn't take the only thing my mom has beside me, her husband. He used me every night and day taking my virginity. He didn't care about my pain my feelings. I am always like a hoe and a toy to him. I decided to end things one night but guess what? Your songs stopped me. The lyrics to each one started playing in my head. Your words were the only thing that forced me not to commit suicide because I had this realization inside me that every thought of mine is a battle, every breath of mine is a war and with time drifting I realized that I wasn't winning anymore but it changed after that day. I start believing in myself just because you were the one who made me believe. I changed completely and now I live somewhere else away from that monster. I have a best friend and believe me I love my life now and I hate the idea of what I was about to do that day. I am not a weak and a coward little girl. Your songs made me believe that the sun keep on with its slipping away, and I thought how many small good things in the world might be resting on the shoulders of something terrible. My past reminds me of how strong I have been the whole time and all these things that I have become now wouldn't have been possible without you Ryle. With 26 alphabets in English language still I cannot describe how I feel for you. You might not believe my story and it's okay for that, I was also not able to. But I have written this to make sure that you know how much you counts as a major person in my life and the least that I can say for it is ...

Thank you for saving me.

Ryle

-

My savior.

Again for the third time in the same day I am unable to say anything. I don't know what is happening to me but this feeling that I am going through right now is something that I cannot describe. I haven't felt things like this before, I haven't felt anyone else's pain before, I haven't been inspired by anyone on such scale ever before. This is different. Today I am feeling things in a completely different way.

For the first time in my life I am able to sense pain in such common words and now I cannot erase the picture my mind has painted after this note. I cannot stop thinking about that girl. About how much she went through yet still, still she showed up and wrote her heart out on a piece paper about which she wasn't even sure whether it will reach me or not. How is she able to trust life like this? How did she put a great trust towards my side? I am not capable of it.

I cannot stop thinking about how she was forced by someone else, about how her own father took her virginity, about how she went pass every night, about how she welcomed every other sunrise the next day and the days after it, how much she would have felt insecure, uncomfortable and under covers in her own place, how did she plaster all those fake smiles and kept herself under disguise for the sake of her mother. I cannot stop thinking about all the other disgusting possibilities that my brain is pushing me towards and which I shouldn't be thinking about.

My driver and guards return to my car and as the car starts I fold the paper and put it at the back of the canvas wrapping it again in the same sheet. After it, I push the canvas at a side and stare out of the window and think about how unexpected this world and our life is, what an impure part does our pure relations play, how much alone we feel even though we are surrounded by so many faces, how many people out here in this world are crying and weeping over reasons that one doesn't want to have a concern of and how people live and die the same day, every other day.

I look outside and look at fathers and other men who might be having of different jobs walking and think about how much they are all alike yet different at the same time.

I keep staring at the crucial dark world lying outside my glass window and just then I am taken back to my past.

Taken back to my direful past.