TomTord oneshots

The Letter and a Surprise

Tord's final letter

As Tord carefully managed to write his love letter, amazed he could manage to write anything but scribbles. His loud and desperate sobs weren't even a third of what he felt. His heart was being squeezed with every desperate breath he took. The feeling made him want to puke.

The letter

  I know this will probably be hard to read, but I don't care. My heart feels like it's going to explode from the cries. J sound so pathetic but I can't keep living on like this, I can't do it anymore. I've tried fighting for so long and the world just seems to ruin every good memory that is given to me. I've wanted to end it for as long as I can remember, but I've simply been a coward, hiding in the shadow of his friends. Those friend that would've done anything for me.

I ruined everything I had, and rightfully so, I knew I never deserved to be happy, and the world has managed to show me that in more than one example.

I wasn't meant for this world, I, Tord was born into the wrong place, its nobody's fault but mine. That's why, if anybody even cares, if anybody anybody finds this note. Please, just please, remember that everyone I have ever met and spoken to were amazing people. I've wanted to live on a happy life and be with everyone, but I couldn't. I'm not strong enough and nobody can handle the burden of me being with them.

As a friend, family member or more. I couldn't do it and I apologise from the bottom of my heart to you. I'm sorry for being weak and not continuing to fight, I just can't keep going no matter what I do. I mess up and it makes me go crazy with rage and pity.

Pity? I sound so pathetic and gross, but that's not the point. I can't just keep on writing until my hand falls off, about every bad and good experience in my life, because even if I've lived such a simple, normal and teenage life, I still have plenty to tell. But in all fairness, I don't think anybody will ever know about every little story that has occurred and stuck with me, even now, when I'm 16 years old.

I wish, from my core that somebody would burst through my door and stop me. Stop me from ending it all and simply cradle me in their arms, hashing me to sleep. I want that to happen so badly, but I know it won't. That's why I have decided to end things. It for the better. When a person is ignored, and despised, it is better to throw them out because at that point they are simply wasting space that could be accompanied by somebody more lovable and useful to this tragic world.

I just.. Want one person, who I know will care, maybe just a twinge to know. I love you.

Tom, if you're reading this. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry that I couldn't fight for you, you've been an amazing friend and the always wanted to be more. I know you probably won't care too much and will move on in a matter of days, but at least you cared. When nobody else would you were by my side and I appreciated it every single second.

I lov--

My hand lost control, hearing the door slam made me panic. Right now? Almost as if finally, this horrid place had answered to my begging and crying.

I turned slowly, face to face with Tom. Both of our expressions mirrored eachother, his eyes landing on the noose that laid neatly on my bed. I could see the sweat dripping down his forehead.

"Did you run all the way here..? Just for me?" More tears managed to escape my eyes. He nodded, going over to my bed and untying the noose, throwing it a long distance out of my window.

He slowly turned to me, tears prickling his beautiful orbs. "Why Tord? Why were you gonna do it? Please I need to know.. I can't loose you too, please don't ever think about doing this again, PLEASE!" He sobbed, hugging me tightly. He held me like I would fade away at any moment.

"I-- Tom I'm sorry.. I just couldn't keep going, I'm so sorry.." I finally broke, crying into his arms. "Its okay, It's okay. I saved you, I got here in time, you're fine and that's all that matters right now."

He calmed down, eyeing me. "Were you.. writing a note?" I nod, ashamed to know I was going to end it all when I got a reaction like this. I was dead wrong apparently, I knew I couldn't do it now, not when I was going to hurt him like this in the process.

"Can I read it.. Tomorrow? Its late and I think we better head to bed." I smiled and nodded, tears still falling down my cheeks. "Are you staying over Tom?"

He nods almost instantly. Of course, after what I was about to do how could anybody leave me in this state and trust me not to do anything to harm or end myself?

"Come on, you need rest, and I'm going to stay with you from now on. No matter what I'll always be with you, never think about ending your life alright? Because there is somebody who still loves you, and that's me Tord. I love you."

Tom picked me up, setting me down on the bed gently. His arms around me mad me regret having the mindset in the first place. "Of course.. Never again.. I love you too.." I cuddled against his chest.