Dabbling in Danger

Starry Night

Malina

Sasha picked me up from school when she got out and we stopped at Day N' Night for milkshakes and burgers. Hot boxing the whole ride here, she drops me off at home and I head inside.

Feeling paranoid about Adeen knowing I'm high I hurry upstairs into my room. I really try to concentrate on my homework, but the cloudiness knocks me out after the first paragraph about skin cells.

I don't know how long I was out, but when I do wake up, it's dark outside. I meander downstairs to see it's all dark, even down the hall. I peek into the garage to only see Tiana's car, wondering if I'll get sober or trashed Tiana I walk to the other side of the house.

I push the cracked door open and it's just as dark and quiet. I walk across the soft carpet to see Tiana's not in the big bed. I look around the room, the closet door is closed, but the light's on in the bathroom, I walk in, but it's empty too.

"Hm," I hum.

Turning the light off I turn to leave when there's a rustling, I turn around and gasp to see my sister.

"Holy shit!" I say.

Tiana gasps too scared at first, then she snaps and lashes out.

"What the hell you doin' sneakin up on me?"

"Wh-?" I take a step back, "I didn't even see you in here, I thought no one was here!"

"Oh, so you were looking for me?" she puts her hands on her hip.

I notice her eyes are glazed.

"T-Tee have you been drinking?" I ask cautiously, knowing she'll get defensive.

Tiana's face scrunches up and her voice rises.

"Are you serious, you think I'm just the drunk housewife, I wake up and and go to sleep drinkin'? No I'm not drinking!" Tiana's yelling and I don't even think she realizes it.

I sigh getting annoyed, "I- I was just asking."

Still defensive she shrieks, "yeah, why?"

"Because I care," I say as if it's obvious.  "All you been doin' is drinking!"

"You going around snooping behind me?"

I look at her like she's stupid, scratching my forehead out of agitation.

"No Tiana! I was looking for your ass because I wanted to know if you were actually home!" I'm yelling now.

We're both huffing and puffing now, both looking at each other like the other one is crazy.

Tiana sighs, a little calmer now and returns her hand to her hip.

"What chyu want anyway?"

"Nothin' Tiana, glad you're alive you ass."

She sucks her teeth and looks away sheepishly, "I wanna go out, what chyu think?"

I look her up and down.

The fact that she's gone from pissed to extra friendly is extremely suspicious.

"Why would I go out?" I ask.

Tiana shrugs, tapping her leg, "just want to spend some time with my girl. You're always with Sasha and if you're not with her you're with some boy."

Yeah, your boy... Or more like man.

Stop that! I yell in my head.

"Bitch you know I have school in the morning right?"

She rolls her eyes, "since when you gave a fuck about school and shit... Adeen must've got on that ass for real," she cracks herself up.

If only.

I'm getting more and more aggravated by her and I start to storm off, but she asks me to stay.

"I know you got some weed," Tiana cheeses. "Let's at least go chill on the deck."

Tiana stands there smiling at me and after giving her another weird look I go up to my room, grab one of my pre-rolled joints and sit outside with her.

Tiana takes a long drag, exhales up towards the sky.

"I haven't smoked in a long ass time, you belee tha'?" she sounds blown away.

I guess I am too. Once I started hanging around that crowd, Tiana would pop up here and there always leaving with jars in her bag. I never knew what he meant when Tiana and my grandad would share a look and then he'd say, "smells like a skunk got in here." Well that is until I got older.

I inhale and hold the smoke in my lungs,  slowly letting it out.

"That's crazy. Never would've thought I'd see a day you weren't cheefin,'" I chuckle.

She sucks her teeth, "man we used to have fun at those parties though!"

Her laughs get me to giggling.

I nod, "yeah we did, alotta fun."

We talk and joke about old times until the joint is gone. Then Tiana asks a question that shifts the whole mood.

"What do you and Adeen end up doin' when I'm gone?" She asks so non-chalantly as she looks up at the stars.

I choke into a coughing fit and blame it on the weed.

Tiana slowly blinks her glazed eyes still waiting for her answer.

"Um, well not a lot," I finally say. "We don't talk much, we watched a movie once."

Tiana nods, "he must like you, told me about you going out for a new dress."

I watch her as I answer, "oh yeah, it was really nice of him to pay for that."

A smile plays on her lips, "he's a nice man... A little overbearing, but you know..."

She trails off, I keep my eyes on her.

"I'm glad you like him," she continues, wavering in place. "He's really a sweet man, strong..."

Tiana takes another long blink her smile returns and I sense a flame of jealousy billowing inside of me. I want to know what private memory Tiana's thinking that involves Adeen.

I wish I could smack that silly smile off her face.

She turns to look at me, "I can only hope that you find yourself a man that'll love and take care of you like Adeen does with me. A man that'll take you in if you find yourself in my situation as a struggling student."

I scoff, that's what she calls it? That's what she thinks of herself? A fucking struggling student? Are we in the same realities here? She quit going for a medical degree as soon as she left grandma's house.

Tiana lightly laughs, she seems so sleepy and dazed.

"That won't be you though. You've always been a damn ghetto princess. You're going to either finish school and be taking care of your man, or off with some dope dealer king pin."

Tiana looks at me and starts cackling, I join in with as much fake laughter I can muster and suggest that we go inside. I don't like how she's swaying and I'd rather her smack her face against her bed than the wooden deck.

"Not drinking my ass," I mutter as I climb the stairs.