21 days to move on

Chapter 25

Day 19 - Moving On Operation

Luke's POV

"We all want something that's not worth having. I loved Julia, more than my life. But some things are just bound to end. This was her end, this was our end. I thought Julia left me for her job, I got angry, furious that I could not control my own feelings

"But back in my mind, I thought and hoped she'd come back. She'd come back because maybe she realized some things, that leaving me wasn't the best option for her life. I had every f-ucking right to get angry, but I chose not to. My love for Julia's above all. Yes, she came back.. But she came back with a body who's about to die any second."

"I could not fathom my life with Julia. Was it somehow a joke, or was it something real? I asked myself everytime but I always ended up being empty. I was not just only hungry for Julia's presence, but I was also hungry for answers. Why didn't she tell me she got sick anyway?

"I would not condemn nor criticize her. It would just deepen my love for her knowing that she would be gone any time soon. But here comes the plot twist, she f-ucking lied and f-ucking left me."

I stood straightly and looked at everyone who's now crying. I felt tears were rolling down both sides of my cheeks and smiled bitterly.

"She could've just told me right? So none of these would've happened," I looked up and cried harder. "Is this what you want, Julia? Seeing people crying, grieving, mourning just because you wanted to keep your sickness to yourself?"

I looked at Judah. His face looked blankly into my eyes and shook his head. I stared straight into his eyes and shed a tear once more.

"So this is goodbye, Juls? You leaving means to move on in life. After all, we were just kids inlove.. So long, Mi Amor."

I wiped my tears and went back to where I seated. My mom hugged my tightly and said how sorry she was for everything. I looked at Lelay and she was the one next in line to give her eulogy.

She tapped the mic and smiled, "Hi, everyone," She breathed in deeply and held the mic with her shaky hands. "First of all, I want to say sorry. Hindi po ako naghanda ng sasabihin for Julia. And I would like to begin my message with a sorry."

"Tita Judylyn, I am sorry. I am sorry for your loss, I may not know nor feel how much it hurts to lose such a great daughter. To Judah, sorry for being so forgetful. Palagi mong sinasabi saakin na hindi na pwedeng ma-stress si Julia but I insisted. I just wanted to fix things for Julia and Luke, I mean we just wanted to help,"

"But I didn't know by just sending your kindness to others may lead to a great disappointment for others, as well. At first, I thought Julia's stupid. Ang tanga niya kasi iniwan niya si Luke. Kung hindi sana niya iniwan si Luke edi sana hindi iiyak si Luke araw-araw at hindi niya na ako guguluhin. But who was I to judge? Who am I to interfere with someone's life?

"I'm sorry Julia for everything. Although we haven't met eachother in person, I am still sorry. Sorry for judging you without knowing the story behind the truth. But if it weren't for you, hindi ko siguro makikilala si Luke."

She looked at me and smiled. She immediately brushed her tears away and bowed to the crowd. But before taking off the stage, she blew a kiss in the sky and mouthed the words, "Thank you."

It was Judah's turn to give his eulogy but before he took the mic, he went towards Julia's coffin and wiped his tears away.

When he decided to take the mic he closed his eyes and started crying, "Julia, I am sorry. I just wanted to help you and Luke. I thought it would bring so much joy in your heart, yes it did, but while you're having too much joy you forgot to breathe and you died," Everyone laughed. "Kidding aside, I just wanted to lighten this place for a bit. When I heard the news, I didn't cry for a minute, I was actually happy for you.."

"Masaya ako kasi finally, nakalaya ka na din. Makakapahinga ka na din. Alala ko nung bata pa kami, mahilig si Julia makipaghabulan o tumakbo but in the end of day palagi nalang siyang umiiyak,

"Because she was having a hard time breathing. Kumbaga her happiness has its own limit. While she was having too much fun running, chasing things she will always end up crying because of her breathing problems. Baka ganun nga talaga sa buhay, sa sobrang nagsasaya ka na, Reality would come over and go bitching around your life. Ang Kj diba, nakakainis. But I became proud of Julia,"

He looked at me and smiled. "What made me proud was when she finally had the guts to tell Luke about her situation. Kahit namatay naman siya, atleast she has accomplished something. She accomplished telling Luke about what really happened. Di ba, Luke?"

I nodded. "Nasabi na nga ni Julia ang totoo, agad agad naman siyang nawala. Siguro di talaga sila magkasundo ng realidad. It was Julia's time to face her own reality in heaven. Little sis," He looked up in the sky and closed his eyes. "You're finally free. I will always be here for you. I will always and forever love you."

He went closer to Julia's coffin and hugged its body. He started sobbing. I know he's trying to be tough. He was seperated with Julia because Julia had to go to different places just to get cured. That's why he wouldn't tell me the truth about her.

I looked at the woman who's walking infront bringing her tissues and stood straightly. "Hello everyone. This is a sad day for everyone, right?" She forcefully laughed and a tear fell from her left eye. "I miss you anak.."

"It may sound wrong, but I expected this day to come. The day where we are all crying because of Julia. Wherein Julia's lying innocently inside the coffin and looking like she's having a good night sleep.. A sleep where she will never wake up again," Julia's mom cried and covered her face with its hands. "Anak, I'm sorry. Sorry if I put you into too much trouble.

"I thought I shouldn't have let you fallen inlove so you wouldn't suffer this much. But then I realized, with you being inlove this what made you hold on a little longer in life. This what motivated you to live, you just wanted to clear things and right after you clear things, it's over.

"And now you have finally cleared things with Luke, it was really over. You left in an instant without bidding your goodbye. Luke," She looked at me. "Thank you. Thank you for making her hang on a little longer."

She ran to where I seated and hugged me. I hugged her back and we were both crying our hearts out. And here I am again, crying over Julia leaving me for good.

I felt the cameras surrounding us and videod what we're doing. Suprisingly, she tapped my back and talked, "Iho, move on. This time, you have to move on. Julia's gone forever."

And that's when I realized, Julia's such a heartbreaker.

After the service, Julia's family started handing out some free snacks. I sat quietly, munching our favorite chips. I stopped eating when I felt someone beside me. "Hi, Luke."

The next time I knew she hugged me. Lelay started crying but continued hugging me. "Sorry talaga, ha."

I let go from our hug and nodded. What is done is done. A sorry couldn't change a thing about what just happened. "Thanks for setting me and Julia up. Means a lot."

We stayed quiet. The silence was deafening. Until she decided to cut the silence, "Adik ka nga talaga kay Julia 'no. Biruin mo, halos mawalan ka na ng mata sa kakaiyak kay Julia. Onte nalang yung mga ganyang lalake,"

She placed her hands on top of my shoulder, "Alam mo, ang swerte ni Julia. Swerte niya kasi may nagmamahal sakanyang kagaya mo. Kung di lang kita kilala mapagkakamalan kitang bading."

I chuckled at the thought and shook my head. I got shocked when Domingo's voice got shaky and unsteady, "Mission failed."

Mission failed? What did she mean by that?

She started shedding a tear and closed her eyes in frustration, "Hindi kita natulungan makamove on. I am sorry. Maybe I was too stressed of the possibilities. Possibilities of losing you in your mom's life, in everyone's life."

I slowly shook my head.

I lifted her face and cupped it, "You didn't fail. I did. I failed at helping myself to move on that I let others do it for myself. I was the one who failed, Domingo. And I am sorry for that."