La Muñeca

My last confession

••••you must hear this marvelous song by Chavela Vargas
"La Llorona"••••

My body ache as I kneeled on all fours scrubbing the scam this family made. But this was my new normalcy after I was auction off for three thousand dollars.
I was priced.
We were lined up like cattle in front of audience. Men hover around us like farmer buying swine.
This family made sure they received every single penny they spend on me.
So they say.
I'm the nanny, the maid and without being asked I was the young wife without the lawful benefits.
In other words I was the fathers play toy.

Oh what money can buy.
Must be nice to be above the all the aspects of laws.
He did what filthy rich people did, what he wanted.
Entitlement filled every aspect of this home staring with father and ending with the four brats.
I was their "Gracy."
Because their mother ridiculed me in front of them saying I was crazy for keeping her up all with my sorrows.
Eventually I had to silent my screams because the day punishments were worse.
Kneeling on Grain of rice hurt more than forcibly taking by the man of the house. Such a shame I had to pick and chose which one was worse. Him or her

Who knows what number of bought merchandise I was or who knew how many helped raised these children.
But unfortunately I grew to be attached to these children.
Their sweet innocence and sometimes the youngest saved me at night.
Her night terrors keep me safe from my real life terror.  Not the the mother mind couple Valiums at night made her useless.

But my new Life came new ideas, some nights without little Nancy nightmares to keep me save came I find ideas to keep me save.
Left over food mix with red gelatin kept him away the sight of my womanly hood was a sight he couldn't stand.  He prefer to see me as a pre-adolescent girl than someone turning into a woman.
Survival skills was all I learned.

It wasn't like the woman of the house was even trying to help me, my screams in the beginning only made her nerves worse.
But After a while, it was silenced that consume my very soul.

As usual tonight he sneaked quietly into my room like a snake ready to strike.
As the smell always give him away, cheap cologne mask the drenching smell of cheap tequila. This smell was burned into my nostrils and my memory.

Tonight, silence filled the night like a thousand times in the passed four years.
There's no more pleading or crying for misery tonight.
Just hope and pray he fall asleep before he caused some real pain.
But something about tonight didn't feel right as the door seemed to creaked louder than usual.
A pain came from the pit of stomach, I look out my only window to see the moon was at her brightness tonight but dark clouds cover most of her light.
The smell of rain came lingering into my room instead of the whorish perfume or body odor mix with alcohol.
No!
The air seem to linger of death as he came closer a heavily scent of sulfur begin to fill the room as I cowardly push my body against the headboard shoving my knees against my chest.
My arms instantly wrapped themselves around my legs as I tried to cocoon myself for safety.
The white small curtain moved inwards as a small breeze blew in cooling my heated skin. I looked out again to moon pleading for salvation but like even tu night she taunted me.
My eyes quickly turn away as the floor behind to creak closer and closer with each step he took.
"Muñecitaaaa"
He whispered the little nickname he gave me, doll.
He constantly said I capture his attention with my doll like features and flawless porcelain skin.
Again a other trait I gain from my woman who abandoned me.
Each step he took echo as if hooves clack on the floor, this who I saw a beast.
His silhouette was always the same half man half beast.
A wild imagination that seem to be reality today. Then just as I knew it only took him nine steps to get on the edge of bed , I only heard seven.
And nothing.
Completely dead silence.
But his monstrous silhouette is all that can be seen, but smell of rotten death was right in front of me.
"Muñecitaaaa"