PART ONE:
"Left in Mexico at age of 12 to only get traffic out to a family who need a nanny, maid and husband needed a ...... well I made it out to only land in Texas at 17 into arms of a woman who thinks am her missing daughter to only have her rip...
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Pills after pills I swallow filing my body with medicines. I didn't know if I was sick or just dying but later slender woman with a white coat and black bag speaks. "Stds' are real, with what happen we can not chance it." STDs ? My young mind couldn't understand what is STIs but what ever it was I didn't doubt I had it. Being sold to dirty flea dog I was bounded to get a flea. The father tried to save my soul while the doctor tried to save my body.
And Off we went again to another dark long road, too ironic. The car hopped left and right as asphalt change into dark reddish sands, the movement from the car made pills in my stomach shake causing bile to form in my throat. A view of a small house appeared, a shady little black shack. Door was made of iron and metal letting go of loud creek sound filled the quiet night. I finally let go of a deep breath I seem to be holding in while walking into little concrete home. Safe and welcoming were two words I knew nothing about. The idea of sleeping on the floor was heaven as long I was safe in her arms. I knew instantly I was going to be okay.
"You know your tia Panchita passed away after you disappear." She said with heavily Mexicana accent, pain can be heard with each word. I didn't know this Tia Panchita but whoever she was to Roberta I hope she said her goodbyes. I mysteriously wonder, "Was it her fault? Will it now become mine fault?" I knew it wasn't but couldn't help but to wonder. A little sob left her body, instantly I placed my arms around her petite body holding her close to mine like she held mine. A small smile escape her face brighten up her round cherub like face. I glazed around 'our' home, A small smile appeared on my Face bringing back memories with my real mother at our tiny studio apartment back in California. Just as quickly the smile was gone exchanging my happy memory for the reason I'm really here. Rich Gringo wanted what he couldn't have and she wanted but I didn't want.
"Mija, here's the bed, sleep. You must be tired." Her warmth word filled with concern fill my heart bringing me back to reality. I looked around the small noticing there wasn't much room so I knew there wasn't another bed. There was no way I was going to sleep on the bed after she opened her arms to me. "No ma. You sleep there, I'm okay with the floor."
There was no way I was going to have her sleep on the floor, after everything why should she suffer more. She held on to her pain like a best friend I can never replace her real love for her daughter but I can treat like real mother should be treated. My real mother has never shown me any ounce of love but a couple of hours ago I felt love for the first time. I'm selfish, I need her and want her around as long as I can have her.
I happily took the floor and wrap myself with blankets and cushions with the sweet scent of lavender, I'm happy. For the first time, I couldn't remember the last time I was actually Happy . No fucking gringo will crawl into my bed at night, wondering if this was going to be the last time I woke up.
