La Muñeca

I will not...

••Song: Soy Maria- Mana••

I open my eyes as my face held in position.
My tongue stuck out showing his mark on my face but his look different than before.
It wasnt filled with heated desire he got out master piece no.
His eyes show a soft posture in stare as iris looked dilated as if tears were going to drop from his aged face.
His fingers move cleaning the edge of my lips while gently moving my jaw upward to close.
Both of hands softly moved from my neck to cheeks. He leaned pressing against my lips passionately trying to kiss me.  I relax at his movement reminding me again I must submit.
Henry wasn't a kisser or showed human affection towards me. This was second kiss I ever received from him, our first was the day I gave hell my vow.

"Muñeca. I have always loved you. You have given me something no one ever has."

He says as our lips come undone, but my eyes open up looking to see if ruthless Henry was showing me trick that was going to end in other slap.
But his arms reach under my arms as he pushed himself and I up to our feet.
His fingers intertwined with me as I follow up to sofa.  He says down as I stand before him waiting for next command.
He pats his hands on his lap giving me signal to obedient sit down in his lap.
But the softens of the eyes never Dissipated.
Nothing was said or express, I knew I didn't love him and I knew I was here because he own me. I am his doll.
He held my face once again, "I will not live forever and everything will be given to you and Joaquin. For the past four years, I have known I had cancer and refuse treatment."
He just spills out a heartthrob confession.
"I ....."
I say
As everything was said in slow steady way but words I wasn't expecting.  I was expecting a physical sting but not a hopeful reality.
Was I going to finally be free?
Was wrong to think great job on the refusal
Or
Am I saddened to see him go?
 
"Amore, you will have to run the business and my right-hand man Perez will show you everything. I have one week to live and you, my love have been loyal to me even when I wasn't. You gave me a son when I thought I was never going to bear one. You have never judged me or took pity on this old man."

Emotional words of mix of lies and truths.
But he was right about one thing I never judge him.
Who was I to judge a man who was a lot like me who hid behind his mask.
A mask of survival.
My broken soul makes my body lean over as it's now me kissing him.
It was my soul begging to feel someone just as broken as her.
Or was she just as excited to be have ounce of freedom.
This could be the last time he treated me like a whore.
This was a kiss exchange between teacher and student, a man and his devote dog.
He taught me how run a business with plan and passion.  But in the end the child I did bear was piece connecting bond.
He was was there every step of the way, almost as protected the jewel of kingdom.
Every appointment
Every curving
As the eight pound of life came out of me he held the hand of person who can made it all happen. Me
Now it was my turn to be there, "Henry I love you. I will be there for you until your last breath."
I was there just to protect my jewel of my kingdom- freedom.
I spilled my own words lies and truths.
A genuine smiled appeared on his tried face.
I couldn't help to wonder where all those women who sat in his lap went.
Did this mean his snorting coke days are over and what about those sleazy clubs?
If he was in death door the last thing I need my investment to do is have that get in my way of my freedom.
He only had us, I wanted to make his last days memorable for both of us.

*revised 7/20'*