PART ONE:
"Left in Mexico at age of 12 to only get traffic out to a family who need a nanny, maid and husband needed a ...... well I made it out to only land in Texas at 17 into arms of a woman who thinks am her missing daughter to only have her rip...
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As Perez left us alone in his office, the word 'WIFE' made my stomach turn. Was faith behind the reason I never wed Luke, because I was still bounded to a man who I thought was dead. I looked at him puzzled at why he needed me alone, his talking away I just can't seem to place his words together other than, 'I'm dying' and 'I'm sorry.' I stare down the man before me as if I'm staring right at a ghost, a livid breathing ghost.
My mind is running with thoughts and the noise is too loud to even place all the words that are coming out of his mouth. As he sits next to me his hands are cold against my skin and the day I lost him runs through my mind, "How did you fake your death?"
That was all that was able to ask for the moment but questions keep flooding in my mind. "A medication was given to me to temporarily stop my heart as soon as you walked out with Perez. The DEA was coming down on me. Mi Muñeca, I didn't have a choice. When you got kicked out of the Elite it worked out perfectly well. Plus you did such a great job hiding who you are. You're just a myth, a legend of the woman all men fear. So, the DEA couldn't track the deals back at you, they only wanted the Elite but when they started raid homes you were safe in Cancún."
I let go of a deep sigh; try to keep composure of all the information my brain was trying to process. I wanted to be angry, I wanted to pull out a gun to shoot him but that old me was gone. Now I had to learn how to process all of the issues without violence.
"Amor, I love you until my last breath, these children grew up knowing you. With pictures, videos and stories, they know you and your heart. They think you went to slay evil monsters. Which ironically you have, look at you now. You are someone different; full of redemption trying to be the best, these children need that, not Muñeca."
He places a soft kiss on my forehead, a sweet gesture from a man I wanted to be angry towards. But there's was no angry bone in my body and no broken heart in my chest. For the first time I knew no pain, the pressure from my chest was gone and I felt lite. My lungs finally took in deep breathe as my body finally let go.
I know that the woman I was less than a year ago wasn't stable. Going on killing sprees to being kidnapped then drowning my sorrows with a wild adventure. I couldn't be a good mother, It would be unfair to them to suffer in my hands.
I know Perez wouldn't be a good father as well; it would have left Güero once again to raise more children. "Look." He held my hands looking directly into my eyes, "There are no words to express how sorry I am. But with those children, I did everything I can possibly do to raise them right. It wasn't easy, amor. I know I was not a great husband and father, but please let me leave this world to know you forgive me."
I don't know if it was my new found of god, "I forgive you." Being with Father Tomas, he enlightens me about forgiveness and that God gave his only son to pay for our sins. For the moment, I thought about my children were they going to pay for my sins as well?
