La Muñeca

Everything meant to be broken

•••Song: Iris - Goo Goo Dolls•••

I was spending more and more days with the handsome Gringo, getting to know him in different level. We seem to finish each another sentences and our laughter never seemed to die down.

I found out that his father runs a ranch couple miles from my house & he provides most jobs in this town.
                He attends Catholic Church every Sunday and volunteers at the church orphanage.  If I like him before, now I adore he's heart and his outlook on life.
That smile of his seems to be fucking genuine and innocent.
Hector did not once speak to me since the day I was at his house. No one seems to have mentioned if they know me.
Or maybe in the past five years no one really knows her .
or maybe the appearance is just too different.

                Who knows?

                Spending time with the Gringo has kept me away from most people, and living in his shadows. I would live forever in his shadow as long as I can look at he's smile forever.  This would the place I would perfectly die happy, with him by my side.
                On the crazy note, I got a little job doing laundry, which is actually for his family.
And I secretly jump for joy at the idea of getting to look at Güeros' face for couple seconds. Coming across his sweater, I can't help but to take a deep sniff, yea sounds disgusting but it's not. His smell of musk and sandalwood lingers on bringing a smile to my face.

God, every day that passes, I lose my best friend name agony and pain and replace with happiness. And Güero was a part of my happiness, giving him a nickname was like when you name your pet; you just know he's going to be yours forever.  His nickname means light skin, Güero.
                Not once does he see me differently or take pity about the lack of money or that I live in a shack.

He just smiles at me which seemed to be all the time. He graduates this year and as for me; well I don't. I have one more year to go but the idea of being without him doesn't sit well in my heart, but I know just like everything else people leave, its just part of my life.

                The feeling of paranoia never leaves my mind, I never speak about my past or where I was at, no matter who asks. Which unfortunately within days of arriving I became a local celebrity, the newspaper journalist always knocking at our door.
Asking questions, wondering about the Niña that escaped the Mexican Cartel.
    Too scared that they find me and be taken back, even though I was never around the actual cartel I was stuck in a fucking fake orphanage and sold to people. 

Every-time I heard a knock, I would sit in fear but lucky I had a woman ...
No a real mother who cares about me to keep me safe.
I swear on my life I'm going take that place down one day. The memory is engraved into my brain.

                As time progress the reporters move on to different story, feeling more and more like a teenager than some slave.
Every day I wake up I thank god for this day and ask for forgiveness but but I'm trying to make the best out of it.  I want to give Mi Señora everything for keeping me safe these past couples of weeks.

                As I sit here on couch rerunning all the painful memories I shake at the sound of the door.
Mama was away at her job and I stayed home to study for my math exam on Monday.

"Hector?"
Disbelief to see the one person that I imagine was going to be my friend but instead, he remained a stranger.
The only friend I have is  Güero (Luke) my blue eye devil, who I secretly have a crush on but I refuse to tell him because rejection doesn't sit well for me.
                "Que haces aqui?"
             ("What are you doing here?")

He leans on edge of door way, wearing a shirt that exposes he's chest.
"I KNOW!"
I stare at him back with a usual look, "Know What?"
He slaps me across my face and I land on my ass as he comes in.
"I know you're not Roberta. That perra, bitch went to Mexico to be with mi primo, cousin. Well, she's having a blast. Que NO?"

                I held my face tearing up and no words could leave my mouth, I knew this day was going to come but, I was just hoping it wasn't going to be like this. I try to look around for a weapon to defend myself.
Today is not the day I'm not going to fucking die not like this -I wasn't.
                Then I remember the little knife that I learn to keep in my shoe and aim for his face but I was only able scratch it. He grabs my ankles as I try to grab my backpack where I keep my hidden money and little memories. I land directly on my face.
"FUCK"
                "YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY FROM ME SUCIA PERRA!
(Dirty bitch)

This is it?
Its me or him.
Today is not my day; it will be him.
                I kick his face with my other leg his head goes back and I run out the door.

I ran as fast I could until I see a small black pickup with a dirt bike on the back in front of me.  It stops, "ROBERTA!"

Its Güero he drives forward and parked in front of me, I'd look back to see if running the other direction would be a safer idea. I just need to get away from it all.
      I don't react fast enough as he runs behind me he wraps his arms around me, "hey hey its okay let me help you."
                I look around waiting for Hector to reappear but nothing.
"Let's get you clean up, si come on."

                We drive the long dirt road out of my little town into his ranchero. (Ranch)

I can't seem to stop squeezing my bag and thinking of ways to get out. He keeps looking back and forth between me and the road. Finally stops to park, "hey hey look at me."
He gently grabs my chin making me look at him, "you're okay now, want to tell me what happened?"

I stare into those baby blue eyes, the memory flashes in my mind when I first meet him reminding me how quickly I love those eyes.

Even though I vow to never trust an anyone again.
I trust him.
I trust ever inch of him.
"I -I- I'm okay just need to leave and I don't want to leave Señora Montemayor and break her heart again."

                His head goes a little back, "What do you mean?" his tone of voice isn't scary or demanding but sweet and low.

"I'm not............"