A dream hidden behind a sweat shirt

Chapter one

*her perspective*

'The texture... I can feel it. No no no!!! Stop the memories! Push them out, push them out. Close your eyes. Forget. Don't let them over power you! Your stronger than this!!! No take control!'

I mumbled to myself. I pulled my knees to my chest and rocked back and forth in the dark. Pulling at my hair. Tears burned my face. My heart beat too fast. Pain hurt. I could feel the texture as the memory's played through my mind. As if they where actually happening again. I pushed at my breast trying to get the feeling off. It disgusted me. I gagged at the thought. Trying to push the memory out. I wanted to scream. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I wanted this living nightmare to end. I wanted it to just get erased from my memory so I don't remember. But it wasn't that easy. I just prayed that all my suffering would be limited. I don't know if I could take this pain and memory's much longer. I just wanted them done with.

I rocked on the balls to the heel of my foot crouched down in the dark room. Lightning flashed through my window. Another fear of mine, being alone was worse enough, plus adding to the scaring nightmare playing through my head, now the big flashes of paralyzing fear.

I don't know really why it was my biggest fear, I just know I used to be woken by big bangs in my room that sounded identical to thunder but when I asked my mum she said she didn't hear anything. So maybe I was crazy I just knew that I heard them. I ended up sleeping in my mums room when they woke me.

With the lighting flashing into my room, causing my walls to light up. The shadows of the objects in my room danced on the walls. I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a silent scream. I hugged my knees and cried. It sure did feel like I was in one of those horror movies. I just wish that it would quit so I could sleep a silent dreamless sleep.

I ended up falling over on my right side and holding my knees while shutting my eyes and humming the lullaby my mum used to sing to me.

Finally I drifted off into the meaningless sleep that I had been able to count on for the endless years. Able to get my rest and energy back.

I woke up to my alarm clock screaming at me. I just hit off and got up for my normal routine.

I had scars on my wrists and legs from what I thought used to help me. So long clothing came to be my best friend.

I crept through the hallways, my tiny feet hitting the cold wooden floor making a pit pat noise. When I looked into the mirror of my tiny bathroom I was shocked. I guess crying at night was a horrible, dreadful idea. Puffy skin surrounded a blood shot eye that held a green color. The only life and emotion that my eyes held was of shock from seeing myself this bad. The puffy red mass of skin that had surrounded my eye looked like it was lazily plopped onto my pail almost grey skin. To be honest I looked dead. My cheek bones stuck out. My usual fair skin was now grayish pale like mentioned before. I just looked like a lost dying girl.

I decided on applying some foundation maybe to make me look alive. Just a little pink to my pucker to look better. I wrapped my freshly dyed chestnut hair up on my head. Like a nest for birds. Like a home.

I trudged downstairs not minding my loud noises. I ran my hand over the wallpaper that had always been there throughout my childhood. Watching what he did to me. That wallpaper had seen my body. In which I'd never be able to trust anyone to see again. Not like I trusted him. He did it against my will.

"Molly eat your breakfast." My mom plopped down granola bar and a glass of milk. She kissed the top of my head.

"This is it?" My stomach growled hungrily. I pulled my chair out, it made a loud shriek across the floor. Then I plopped down and sighed.

"All we can afford." She smiled and walked out the door. I ran my fingers through my hair and ate.

After eating the whole two gulps I had I jumped up and ran out the door. Getting into my beat up truck. I got to school on time and flipped the hood of my sweatshirt over my head. Not making eye contact. I watched my feet and I bumped into something. Bouncing off it I fell to the floor. Startled I looked up. Most people would just laugh. But his face was shock... Then changed to serious. He causally stuck out his hand in front of him. I eyed it. Should I take it? Why did this one guy look so familiar? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was jasper.