Hey, guys...I'm back...
I'm so sorry it took so long. I appreciate you all being so patient and considerate. You are the best. School and just life in general has been exhausting, and it's been hard to deal with. But, it's here, and I know lots of you were saddened at the recent part. I just would like to let you know that I feel awful about that last ending. Well, mostly. I pray you don't completely hate me, so here is my peace offering: a fourth part. Enjoy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - Author
Did you really think it would end like that?
The flatlining sound wouldn't leave my head. I sit in the hospital hallway just outside Jin's room, the annoying sound echoing in my ears. My anxiety chokes me, so much so that I can barely breathe.
It's been hours of waiting in nervous agony, not having a single of idea what's going on behind the door. I sometimes hear yelling, and that causes my heart to race so fast, but it nearly stops beating altogether when there's complete silence. I can't tell which is worse.
Finally, the door clicks open, and I shoot to my feet, nearly tackling the surgeon that steps out. In a panic and using heaving breaths, I force out "Is he okay?" in a desperate tone.
He places a hand on my shoulder, and a tear slips loose. Then, he gives a small smile and says, "He made it. He's resting now."
The relief is overwhelming and I fall to the ground, crying and smiling at the same time. The surgeon rubs my back and tells me I can see him later before leaving me alone, and I'm glad he does. I'm slightly embarrassed that I'm crying in the middle of the hallway, but at the moment I couldn't care less.
It's another five hours before he wakes up. I'm shocked but not complaining that it was a lot faster than last time, taking more than a week for him to gain consciousness. I immediately return to his side, pressing my lips to the back of his hand over and over again. He's here, he's alive, and he's going to be okay.
"Joonie...?"
I raise my head at his croak.
"I need to know something."
I move my hand to join my other in holding Jin's. "Anything."
"If I were the one that cheated, would you have forgiven me?" I don't answer at first, and he adds, "You have to be honest."
I pause to try to imagine it. How can I even think that? Jin is not the kind of person that would do that; not even if he were paid all the money in the world.
Then again, I thought I wasn't either.
"Honestly?"
He gives a tired nod.
"I don't know."
He casts his gaze downwards, turning sad.
I trace my thumb over a scar running across his knuckles. "I'd be so depressed that I wouldn't want to keep living." I meet his eyes and offer my best smile. "Because if you aren't in my life then I don't want it."
Tears form in his eyes, some slipping loose faster than others.
I wipe one of them away. "I'd be devastated, no doubt. But I'd forgive you because I can't imagine us not together. I need you, baby."
He swallows, and his Adam's apple bobs before he whispers, "I need you too."
Rising from my seat, I lean forward and gently kiss his bandaged head. Then, he starts to squirm, and I grip his arms. "Jin, don't. You're in too much pain."
