lost in space

seventeen

john sat in his desk chair as tj sat on his bed, leaning against the wall. "is it alright if i ask about you and jim?" tj asked.

john nodded. "yeah."

"i don't ant to assume anything because everything we heard about was a rumor, but what actually happened between you two. what did jim actually do?" tj asked.

john stared into his lap, picking at his fingernails. "he did a lot of things. he would hit me and he uhh... he raped me a few times." john said then took a deep breath, looking up at his friend, seeing his face fill with anger. "and i only agreed to it because being with him was better than being here alone with my father."

"i'm gonna kick his ass. i'll accidentally drop kick a ball at his head."

john chuckled. "i'm not that worried about him beating me up any more." he said as his thumbs traced the scar on his fingers from the locker. "i've got my sister now and greg and i've got sherlock. and you and sven."

"who's sherlock?" tj asked.

"he's my boyfriend i guess," john said with a shrug.

"why wasn't he here tonight then?"

"he's on a business trip in america. some case and conference thing."

"is that who the flowers were from?"

john nodded. "yeah. he was supposed to be here, but he had to go earlier than planned."

harry knocked on the door. "did you guys want any of the left over snacks?" she asked.

"the pretzels." john said to her.

"tj?" harry asked.

"i'm good, thanks." he said.

after harry and clara cleaned up, tj and john went downstairs and took over the sofa and the tv, watching reruns of the golden girls and eating all the left over snacks from the party. tj was out by two and john was still awake, reading the astronomy book mrs hudson had got him. he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he instantly knew it was sherlock, so he got up, grabbed his blanket and went out back, sitting on the steps as he answered the phone.

"hello?" he asked into the phone.

"hey." sherlock's voice responded. "how was your birthday?"

"it was okay. my dad called and i told him to never speak to me again and jim showed up, harry threw cake at him then left. and i also made the soccer team."

"what did jim want?"

"it doesn't matter."

sherlock sighed softly over the phone. "what'd you want to talk about? i got your voice mail."

john was silent for a few seconds before saying, "us" softly into the phone.

"what about us?"

"we're drifting apart."

"that'll happen when i'm five thousand miles away."

"do you think this was a smart idea? us being together?"

"yes, yes i do. do you?"

"not any more, not really."

sherlock sighed heavily and sniffled. "did you want to end it?"

"i'm not sure."

there was silence over the phone. john laid in the grass, looking up at the sky as he tried to spot out stars, but it was cloudy and he couldn't see them very well.

"hey, sherlock?"

"yea?"

"that feeling is back. the one where i want to get lost in space."

"well stay on earth, please."

"i will." john said then out of no where he just busted into sobs.

sherlock tried to calm him down, but nothing was working then he heard harry's voice on the other end of the phone then the call ended. sherlock leaned back into his desk chair and sighed heavily, rubbing his face. he kept himself from freaking out and focused on the case in front of him, trying to lock the thoughts of john out of his head.

in the morning tj went home early because he got called into work and john went upstairs, getting in bed and just laying there while he stared at his ceiling, letting his mind collapse along with his body into his bed. when harry woke up she checked on john and thought he was sleeping, so she left him alone then went to work, taking clara with her.

it was a long day. john stayed in bed, not feeling like he should move in any way. he wasn't even hungry, which was odd because he always was. he stayed in bed until someone started knocking on the front door and his phone started ringing.

"hello?" he asked groggily.

"hey, john. are you and harry coming in for the restraining order?" it was greg.

"she left to go to work a few hours ago."

"ah, alright. do you think if i come by later you can get 'em signed?"

"i guess." john said and sighed. "someone keeps knocking on the front door." he said to greg.

"do you know who it is?" greg asked.

john got out of bed and went to harry's room, looking out the window. "jim's car is out front."

"is he out there?" greg asked.

john looked out the window more, not being able to see the front door. he heard the front door creak a bit and he froze. "he's inside."

"hide. now. i'll be there in three minutes." greg said and hung up.

john peeked out of harry's room and saw jim go into his room. john closed the door to harry's room quietly then crawled under her bed, laying there and listening to jim's footsteps walk down the hall then harry's door open.

john was sure it was less than three minutes when he heard sirens. he crawled out from under the bed and got up, walking out of harry's room. he heard the back door slam then saw greg burst threw the front door. "he ran out the back." john said to greg as he walked down the steps. "it's probably too late to get him, alex lives back there."

greg sighed. "are you okay?"

john nodded. "what about his car?"

"it can stay there and if he's smart he won't come and get it himself. he'll get someone else to."

"okay. thanks for coming."

"of course." greg said. "sherlock would kill me if anything happened to you on my watch."

john chuckled. "yeah, he would. have you heard anything from him?"

"he called this morning and said they may finish the case early, they've got people in custody and they should let him go a week earlier than planned."

john nodded. "do me a favor and don't tell him about jim. i don't want him freaking out." he lied.

"you got it. i'll be by with the restraining order when i get off." greg said as he backed up to the door.

"alright." john said.

greg gave him a wave and left, closing the door behind him.

john locked the front door then went to the back door and locked it as well before going upstairs to his room. on his bed there was a small rectangular box and a card beside it. he sat on his bed and picked up the box, opening it to see his old pair of glasses. the lens was fixed from when jim hit him. he closed the box and opened the card next. it was just a simple birthday card with a taunting note from jim. he took the box and card and hid them in his dresser, piling his shirts over them.