Silent misery (BTS depression story)

On the inside

Perfectionist with anorexia p.o.v (which BTS member?)

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Practice non stop. I can't stop til I've perfected every move. No eating I want to loose weight. I can't show I'm depressed, I can't cut were it's visible. I can't stop til I can't move. I can't eat til I'm on the brink of starvation. I'm sick of it. We're not happy. Not always at least. We are hurting but we're forced to uphold a strong happy image. I'll just go puke again. Pray that I choke and die.

Bipolar angry and violent p.o.v (which member?) 

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I'm tired of being hurt. I'm so angry and confused. Tired of working so hard. It's hard to help the others when I get violent I love getting into fights, causing trouble. I hate living like this though. Sure I'm famous, loved. Doesn't mean I'm perfect. No one seems to see that. I'm such a monster. I'm weird to everyone I can't tell if that's good or bad anymore. My mind is unstable maybe fighting someone will help. 

Depressed perfectionist

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Perfect every dance. Every move. Every step. Day night always at the dance studio. It helps but it can't help forever. How many pills have I taken today. Six more couldn't hurt right? I'm not dizzy yet. The fans think I'm the happiest person on Earth. But how are they supposed to see me under the surface. The other members hurt too. It hurts me more watching them hurt. I'll just take another six to make the pain go away. After all they are pain killers. 

Depressed and lost p.o.v

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I watch things around me. The world. I think about things. I'm lost in thought constantly. Has fire always been this way? No wonder he likes it so much. He Burns alot of things. We all do. I watch them crumble around me. The cards always get knocked over right when you've managed to keep them up through the hurricane. The fans never notice the little things. The moments where we snap. They see me lost in thought but they can never guess what I'm thinking. What is reality? Maybe I should go out to the bar with him. Or maybe I'll go alone. See if the alcohol will lead me to death. I wonder if it's peaceful.

Depressed empathetic who tries to be a leader and push bad away p.o.v

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I saw them grow up and now I'm watching them shrink down. It hurts I can't help them. I've carried one to the hospital after to many pills. I've taken ones beer away. I've unhooked ones mind from drifting I've stopped rage I've forced one to eat and keep it down and I've reminded a leader that he needs to stay strong. I can't keep them happy. I can't help them for long. I can't hold them close and never let them leave til their safe. There old enough to make decisions like me. I can't stop them and I can't force them. I can't let our fans know and I can't stop practice or work long enough to help the poor boys succeed. I want to help them. For now I'll just sit In my fantasy where everything is okay where I don't need to deal with any problems. I'll keep playing pretend. 

Angry alcoholic p.o.v 

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I don't want to talk to them. Sure I worry. I don't even want to pick up my phone when they call. I talk with a few of them occasionally but it's rare only when we work together. Our fans never see it. I go drinking with one of them often and get in fights sometimes, sometimes I hurt the ones I love. I try to apologise but he's too depressed to accept my apologies he hates me probably. Will we ever be happy? I don't know. I'll just down another few bottles, take a few shots and get so drunk I pass out. I'll drink the pain away. 

Crumbling leader p.o.v

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I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to keep them standing  anymore. I must stay strong and happy like one of them always tells me. It's so hard when I'm watching them fall before my eyes. I like reminding myself to stay strong. It's not just fun and games though. It's mostly just a reminder that I must struggle because their has to be some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. Right? Right? I'll just keep waiting. Trying to be strong. 

All p.o.v

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We all struggle. Can't you see?