Silent misery (BTS depression story)

I think he loves me

Jungkook's p.o.v

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It's been months sense I've been outside and today Yoongi is slowly trying to coax me outside. He took my arm and brought me to the door and I looked outside in fear. He then pulled me outside and I stood in the grass for a few seconds before paranoia set in and I ran back inside and into his room into my safe space in the corner. He walked in a few seconds later and sat next to me. "You okay baby?" 

He asked as I rocked back and forth mumbling to myself and I looked at him and started to calm down. "Just a little paranoia....did you call me baby again?" He blushed and looked away. "I geuss I did." I blushed and looked down. In my mind I thought no it couldn't be he could never love anyone again after we lost Jimin. If thats true than why does he treat me this way. 

Does he pretend in his mind that I'm Jimin. Am I nothing to him? I didn't realize I mumbled my thoughts aloud until I felt Yoongi's arms around me. "It's not that I don't love you. I don't just veiw you as Jimin. I think the opposite. I think I love you and for who you are not because I veiw you as Jimin." My face lit up red. Then I sighed sadly pushing him away. "I'm still not ready to love again Yoongi." 

He nodded in understanding "ever sense Jimin died I've felt the same way. We both need to heal before anything grows between us." I nodded. "I still love you though. Just a little bit but I do." Yoongi itmited and I sighed "I think I do too." He smiled "well we can take our healing process one step at a time." 

Then an idea poped in my head. "Yoongi I'm making a deal you go to rehab to get over your alcoholic side and I'll go outside and get used to living again deal?" Yoongi groaned. "Your lucky I love you. Fine I'll go to rehab but you are going outside." I nodded and we pinky sweared and put a stamp on it to seal it. Just like I used to do with Taehyung. 

Taehyung....body.....ripped. I quickly turned to the garbage can and puked again. "I hate PTSD." Yoongi sighed wrapping his arms around me while I puked so he could rub my stomach. "I know kookie. I'm sure one day you'll be able to think about him and not puke my instant ramen up. My ramen costs money ya know?" He said trying to make light of the situation so I smiled wiping my mouth clean with a rag. 

"Thank you." He nodded and kissed my cheek standing up. "I'm going to go to the store want me to get you anything?" I nodded. "Ramen." He laughed. "Okay but no puking it all this time. Plus your getting too skinny you need food to be strong or you'll loose your abs and biceps." I blushed. "I'll eat and I'll try my best to keep it down." He smiled. "Good boy. Well I'll be home soon." He said walking away. "Bye Yoongi." I sighed sitting on his couch and I turned on the TV. Not before I sprayed his man purfume all over the house so it wouldn't smell like instant ramen and stomach acid. I secretly sprayed his cologne all over my blanket and pillow so it'd smell like him and I cuddled close to the blanket and pillow. I can't wait til he gets home.