Silent misery (BTS depression story)

He's sober. I'm not.

Jungkooks p.o.v

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does he like alcohol so much? I sighed and grabbed a bottle of bourbon. "He's going to hate me for this." A few drinks later and I'm stumbiling around shit face drunk and in a crop top. Yoongi walked in smiling til he noticed that burbon in my hand. "Your drinking? After you made me go to an AA meeting?! After you got so mad at me for coming home drunk I come home to this? Do you hate me?!" I was too drunk to barely comprehend what he was saying. "Slow done babe I don't understand." I slurred and he glared. "You know what fine if your going to hate me so much why should I live hu? Why do I have to live in this shitty world! Everyone else I love has died except for you and now your doing this to me? Jungkook I thought you loved me." 

My heart shattered. "If you want me dead so bad fine...then I'm as good as dead.""Babe wait!" He slammed the door leaving. I stumbled after him to drunk to run fast without falling over. I was so dizzy as I ran after him but he was already too far away. Then I tripped on the sidewalk. Yoongi then downed some alcohol and walked to the edge of the bridge. My heart stopped. I tore through traffic trying to run after him. It wasn't the fall that killed him. I saw him jump and he was still alive. It was the semi not paying attention to the road. He swerved but it was too late. I screamed. "YOONGI!" I sobbed. "Not again! No! I want to die! I can't live like this!" 

Eventually I passed out from sobbing and puking so much. When I woke it was night time and the body of the one I love wasn't their anymore. I was too depressed to cry. All that was on my mind was death. Today Namjoon was assumed dead aswell so my heart had been broken another time. What next? It won't matter I die tonight anyways. 

Suddenly I got a call. The hospital. I answered. "hello?" I say weakly. "Jeon Jungkook?""Yes?" I heard a pause and a sigh. "We have bad news. Hoseoks recent lab results came back and he's going to be in a coma for life. We wanted to know if you wanted to come see him before we have to pull the plug." A tear slid down my cheek. "I'll be their shortly." This day can't and won't get any worse because today will be my last day alive. 

I went to the graveyard seeing that with all Yoongi's friends dead sick or missing they burried him already. I planted flowers for him and slightly next to him for when Hoseok and I are burried their. "I love you Yoongi. Soon we can be together again. I walked away going to the hospital.

I sat next to Hoseok's bed. "Their pulling the plug today. Don't worry or be scared. We'll see each other again sooner than you think. I promise. I love you friend." Then the doctor came in and gave him a high dose of morphine so his death would be peaceful and I watched as his heart monitor flatlined. I looked down. "Will you be okay?" The doctor asked. "just leave me here for a moment." He left and I snuck out to the elevator going to the roof level. It was sunrise. 

"Park Jimin you were the first person who ever made me feel like I was cared for. You bought me gifts, fed me, cuddled me. I loved you. You starved yourself to death. Kim Seokjin you took care of me watched over me and practically raised me you gave me more than a second chance and you taught me that I could become a better person. I loved you. You jumped off a building. Kim Taehyung you were my best friend then my boyfriend you loved me and taught me what love felt like. I loved you. You stepped out in front of a train. Jung Hoseok you were my friend my ally my sunshine. You kept me happy through so much pain you taught me happiness and how to make others happy. I loved you. You overdosed. Kim Namjoon you were a leader you encouraged me to stay strong when I felt like giving up you taught me bravery and sacrifice. I loved you. You went missing." With each name I grew closer to the ledge. 

"Jeon Jungkook. You couldn't help Jimin, You couldn't have showed up early to save Seokjin, You couldn't wake up and keep Taehyung home, You couldn't stop Yoongi from reaching the ledge, you couldnt keep the pills from Hoseok. You failed them. You could've saved them. You didn't. Now it's your turn to die." That's when I stepped off the ledge.

Darkness consumed me and that was it. Death.