We stare at each other for a second, just taking in the others face. "You're fascinating." I say breaking the silence. He quirks an eyebrow and I regret saying it, as I wait for rejection, again. But he only smiles moving closer. "You think so?" He...
It's been three months, he's getting better, the doctor tells me . But it's been hell. They say it gets worse before it gets better and boy, has it gotten worse.
_
"Hey how're feeling?" I ask, from behind the glass. It still makes me uneasy, seeing him behind the glass like he's in prison or something.
"Like shit, I haven't slept since the last one." He replies, giving me a weak smile. "How did I die this time?" He winces at the question. "Car crash." I nod in reply.
"Dallon, you said this would work...it's only getting worse. I've been getting them once every week. I can't sleep knowing that you'll die everytime." He says, bowing his head. I nod lean against the glass, knocking on it so I get his attention. "I know it's hard but, hey at least you'll know I'm still alive when you wake up right?" I say, trying to comfort him but when I see the glare on his face, I knew I hadn't succeeded.
" No, Dallon that's the thing, I don't know that when I wake up your alive. Wanna know why? Because I'm locked in a FUCKIN insane asylum." He says, screaming at me. I flinch because I hadn't expected that. "Hey no I'm sorry babe I'm sorry, it's just so frustrating not to have you next to me. To not see you everyday like I used to. Don't you miss me? Doesn't it hurt that you can't see me? Sometimes I think you locked me in here to get rid of me." He finishes with a frown and I can't help the sadness and anger that boils inside me. "Ryan, Christ how can you say that to me. I visit you almost every fuckin day, doesn't that mean anything to you? I sent you here because I love you and I'd rather not see you for 6 months, than to see you in a fucking grave. Don't you get that?" I bow my head so I don't have to look at him. "Just think about what I said. I'll be back tomorrow, please try to sleep. I love you." And with that I get and leave.
-
"I know it seems to be getting worse, but I'd like to say that he's slowly overcoming these.. episodes. I've come to the conclusion that because of his previous trauma, he's afraid that you'll be taken from him, so his brain is, ..um let's say creating the worst possible outcomes. So even if in reality he's only afraid of you guys breaking up or fighting his brain will over exaggerate. Which is why you keep dying."
The doctors says, and wow, does that makes me feel like shit? Yes, but it also makes me so happy that I can't help the smile that forces it's way onto my face. The doctor gives me a weird look and I frown.
"How do we fix it?" I ask softly and he nods.
"We need him to not be afraid and for him to realize he has all the support."
I nod and take the papers he'd told me to look over for when they send Ryan home and give him a nod. "Thank you, I'll be back tomorrow."
- at home -
I can't sleep knowing that he's going through all of this because of me. I feel horrible for yelling at him. I roll over and stare at the clock, I have to let him know that I'd never leave him.
He's afraid because he loves me and he thinks I don't love him as much as he loves me. But The truth is that I love him so much, these last three months have been hell, I miss him. When I wake he's not there my heart stings in my chest. The thought of him coming home brightens my whole day, my whole week even. I just need him to understand that. He has to know that I love him just as much as he loves me or he'll never make it.
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A/N I'm such a mess😭😭 Hi this is shorter than most my chapters but I just wanted to post one because I hate coming back with just an ugly ass a/n sooo I hurried up and wrote a chapter real quick. Next one will be here really soon!! - layla🍃
