Skinny Boy ✔

Chapter 10: pills and refills

I grabbed my bottle with the last bit of protein shake left to swallow my pills and grabbed the bottle of steroids tucked safely away in the back of my drawer, unexposed to the eyes of the world. I twisted the cap off and shook a few pills out into my palm. Only none came out. 

I tried again, this time tipping the entire bottle upside down over my hand. When still nothing came out, my heart began to race. I peeked inside just to confirm that I wasn't going crazy. It was empty. 

Okay, now I was going crazy. 

This can't be happening! I thought I still had enough for at least a few more days! 

This is your fault for not planning ahead. 

When I first got the bottle, it said how many were in there. Apparently, my naive ass was easily ripped off. I didn't bother counting them because I had the audacity to trust a freaking drug dealer! 

But what could I have done? Poured them out on my desk and counted them? It was already risky enough taking these little suckers. Mom, dad, or even Jamie could have easily walked in when I took them, though I probably could have duped my brother by saying it was aspirin. Haley didn't walk into my room without knocking, probably for fear that she would catch me looking at something that would scar her for life. She really didn't have much faith in me, did she? Not every teenage boy is Jamie. 

I tossed my head back with a grumble. I was planning on doubling my dose later that week to make up for the day that I had to miss entirely. My birthday. 

With the end of school pool party, I could still spend most of the evening out for a run or up in my room lifting weights. But on my birthday, I was expected to be out all day. Everyone was, considering it was the first day of summer break. I was expected to sleep in like all the other kids. I was expected to wake up late, take a break from a strict and rigid schedule. But I couldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. 

Not without something to compensate, that is. 

That's why I planned on doubling my dose. I was stupid (though some may argue that I still am), but I wasn't extremely stupid. Well, at least not when compared to my brother. But I was smart enough to research whether or not that was a safe thing to do. I made sure to post a thread on a body-building forum I joined soon after I began the steroids. No one had responded the two times I'd checked. But from what I understood after scrolling through many many posts about different types of pills was that they weren't as powerful, and certainly weren't as dangerous as injected steroids. 

It's okay I tried to tell myself. You're supposed to take a break in between cycles anyway. You're supposed to give your body a little bit of time to go back to its normal hormonal production. That's what everyone has told each other on the forums. I'm just giving my body that break sooner than I'd expected to. 

But my cycle isn't complete! What if that throws my hormones off balance, too? What if it messes up my gains? I can't take a break! 

With my head spinning, I stifled a groan and tossed the now-empty bottle back into the drawer until the trash bin was full enough that I could cover it in the garbage. 

I swiped my phone and called the number of the guy who gave me the pills. 

My heart sank when I heard a robotic voice saying we're sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If it weren't for the slight tan I'd gotten the other day, the paleness of my face in that moment would have made me close to transparent. 

No no no no no! 

If I can't get a hold of him, how am I supposed to fix this? 

Then a sick idea came to mind. At the time, it seemed more ingenious than sick. That was probably because I was already so sick in the head that I couldn't tell a sick idea from a sane one. So I latched onto that one little glimmer of hope, that chance I had to seize before it was too late. I knew who I had to talk to.