Skinny Boy ✔

Chapter 51: group

I hoped they were bluffing. I really did. Unfortunately for me, however, they were not. 

And that's how I ended up at some strange building I've never been to before, being lead through the building, dad's hand barely touching my shoulder. It was so light that it might as well have been hovering. But I was in such an irritated mood (as usual), that even the slightest touch had me tensing up. 

He probably kept himself so near me for fear that I'd run off given the opportunity. In all fairness, I did entertain the idea more than a few times. 

After making a few detours to ask directions for the right room, we came to a stop at room 19. Through the small window on the door, I could see a peek at the room. There wasn't much to see, mostly the backs of heads and a few girls sitting in chairs.
"C'mon," dad ushered me in, following me into the room. At this point, with the realization setting in that this was a completely foreign environment, I was a little grateful he followed so closely. Only a little, though.

As I stepped into the room and all the heads popped up, eyes immediately landing on the scrawny, tired boy, a million thoughts ran through my mind. Regrets that I hadn't shut up and gone to a school counselor like my parents demanded. Wondering if it would have been better if I hadn't put my foot in my mouth. Hopes that I could somehow get my way out of this. 

I didn't know these people that dad was leaving me with, nor did I care to know them. I didn't care what they had to say. 

So why do I care so much about what they think of me? Why do I feel so uncomfortable with them looking at me? 

The only adult in the group, a woman with short, black hair, stood up to greet my father. They exchanged a few meaningless words before the woman mentioned a couple things about what her and my mother spoke about over the phone. She eventually turned to me and said, "I assumed you're Nathan?" 

When I refused to look at her and said nothing in return, dad nudged me, and I mumbled a quick yes barely loud enough to hear. 

"Welcome," she said. "My name is Mandy, I'm the group therapist." 

I raised a brow. "The what?" 

She smiled in return. Apparently this wasn't the first time someone has asked something like that. "The group therapist. I lead the group in our discussions each session," she gestured to the group of teens, who were still looking at me like a boring circus animal. "And together, we learn coping skills, how to recognize cognitive distortions, and many other things." 

I simply blinked at her, too overwhelmed by the whole setting to know what to say. I wanted so badly for it all to be untrue. 

I guess that nothing's gonna go my way. 

At least it didn't this time, because the next thing I knew, dad was saying bye, and that he'd pick me up when it was done. The whole time he wore a small smile, as if to say he was sorry for forcing me. I only looked back at him with a bored look. 

"Come, sit down, we're just getting started," Mandy ushered me to the two empty chairs next to the girls who sat scattered around a table. "Here, let me pull an extra chair up. We've still got a couple more people coming." 

My automatic instinct was to prove my strength by picking up the chair was as little effort showing as possible. My weak shoulders and tender legs, however, begged me to do otherwise. I sided with my body this time, because not only was I too weak and tired to try and one-up myself, but I also didn't care much at this point. 

What's the point of proving my strength when everyone already thinks I'm weak? That thought had been floating around my mind a lot that week. Everyone can see how thin I am, and knows how pathetic and puny I am, so what's the point in trying to convince them otherwise? 

"Nathan?" 

I blinked, Mandy's voice bringing me back to sad reality. "Huh?" 

"Are you going to sit down, or would you like to stand the whole time?" she joked, a genuine friendliness to her voice. 

I'd actually rather not be here at all. 

I kept my head low and took a seat, because maybe if I'm quiet and go through with this without a fight, it would be done sooner than I thought. 

Just then, the door opened, and since I was expecting to see yet another girl to increase the female-to-male ratio, my eyes were surprised to land one a fellow teenage boy. Apparently, the sight of me was just as much of a shock to him, as I watched his bright eyes widen. 

"It's about damn time we got another male in here!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exaggeration. "There was not nearly enough testosterone in this group." 

I couldn't stop the corners of my lips from twitching up, but quickly caught it and reminded myself I was supposed to hate it here. 

Not long after he took his seat--gladly taking the one across from me, no less--another girl entered the room, at which point the therapist announced we were all there. I was both surprised and relieved when she didn't have me introduce myself, and was equally surprised that no one said hi Nathan in a monotone voice when she took the honors of introducing me. I guess I expected it to be like some sort of AA meeting. But she just told everyone my name, and moved on to the topic of the day. 

She passed out a handout sheet to each of us and began talking about the first thing mentioned on the paper. It was about what assumptions we jump to when triggered, or something like that. I was too uninterested at the time to remember. All I remember is skimming over the paper and deciding it looked boring. 

After what seemed like hours of the therapist droning on about the points that we could have read from the paper ourselves, stopping on occasion to ask and answer questions, we made a safe arrival to the end of the page. I thought that was the end of it, and I was at last free to go, but it was foolish of me to think that luck would end up in my favor. 

"So, Nathan," she said, catching my attention. "How this usually goes is we start with what we're learning about, talk about how we plan on applying it to our lives these upcoming weeks, and depending on how much time we have, we usually give each other a chance to talk about what we've been struggling with this week. This way we can provide a sort of safe space to talk open and honestly to each other about what's going on in our lives. So, since today we have the opportunity to talk about how our week's been going, would you like to open up a little about what's been going on in your life that's brought you here?" 

I looked around the table at the faces staring back at me, swallowed the lump in my throat, and said, "No." 

Snapshot. 

~

Yeah, I'm still alive and well, just busy is all. For those of you who didn't read my announcement, the reason this update was late is because I've been hurrying through spring break with things like college forms, passport admissions (which I've thankfully finished), and now, I've got a job. So my updates may be a little more sporadic as I get adjusted, but hopefully they'll still be on time. Anyway...

Thoughts? 
What do you think of his reaction to the group? Or his thoughts about it compared to his earlier preconceptions? 

Teaser: school's started again. Do you think anyone knows about his incident? Will anyone notice some sort of change?