Same script, different cast

Old habits die hard

Pulling up outside the home I share with Annie I'm weighed down by the guilt of the things I've been doing lately,  it's nearly 1am as I put the key in the door and enter the house,  this place doesn't feel much like a home to me any more,  it's dark and the familiar panicky feeling rises in my chest as I remember walking in here that night, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as fear crawls up the length of my spine leaving me breathless and light headed only this time I knew for a fact that Annie wasn't home right now.

Memories of Hannah touching my body invade my mind and make me feel disgusting.
Heading straight to a shower in one of the spare rooms, I throw my clothes on the floor,  I'll wash them before Annie comes home tomorrow,  Setting  the water as hot as I can stand it I step in trying to scrub the dirt of Hannah and that fucking motel away,  if I scrub hard enough maybe I'll wash it all away and none of it would have ever happened,  I needed a fucking time machine to sort this shit out.

I hate myself, the first time I fucked Hannah was when she showed up at Effigy for an interview for the recently vacated receptionists position, I'd been sat in my office staring at a bottle of Vicodin and crying, Annie had been out of the hospital for a couple of weeks and was at home resting, I was trying to be the man and not show any feelings because I didn't want to upset Annie any further and was starting to feel like nobody cared about what I had lost or the things that I had seen. Just because I'm a man, my feelings didn't count. 

I didn't know I wanted another baby until the day Annie told me she thought she might be pregnant and then I wanted it more than anything else. It was my last chance and now it was all gone.

But I think the thing that bothered most was finding Annie unconscious in our bathroom, blood everywhere, Her skin was almost translucent, her lips blue I thought she was dead I remember picking her lifeless body up and holding her to my chest tightly, telling her I loved her, it was only when she groaned quietly that I realised she was still alive and called the emergency services, they took her away and from that moment I had no control over anything, the baby was gone and at that time no one could tell me whether Annie would be alright or not, words like ruptured, heavy blood loss, complications from surgery all ran through my head but I didn't understand anything, luckily I managed to call my brother and he came over and was able to let me know what was happening.

I'd bought the vicodin from a dealer that used to supply me back in the day, his eyes lit up at the prospect of me coming to him more often and being back on the drugs, I'd had it for days and just kept taking it out of my desk drawer looking at it and putting it away again, that's when Hannah caught me.
I've no fucking idea how she managed to get past security, she was stunning, legs sky high but an absolute bitch, she manipulated me into fucking her there and then in my office, told me she'd help me feel better and take my mind off the fucking drugs.
I chucked the pills in the bin and did it, broke all of my promises to Annie about being faithful and I swear if Hannah hadn't of caught me in that moment, if I'd seen her on the street, I would never have done it, never!

I had no intention of not being with Annie either, I'd tried to break it off with Hannah tonight but the fucking bitch threatened me, said she'd go to the press about the affair and the drugs, I could handle that,  it was her word against mine and I would make sure the slippery fucker went down but when she threatened Annie.

I had no choice but to do what she wanted. There was no way I wanted her to find out about this, It would break her, not to mention the fact that pre baby Annie would have cut my balls off and worn them as earrings just for the fucking fun of it.
I was in love with Annie and I always would be, if my only way of getting rid of Hannah would be to tell her myself about the pills and Hannah then I’d have to do it.