To hell and back( destiel college AU)

alone

Castiel

'Deans not here.... I have no classes.... I am alone?..... god I'm alone.... FINALLY!' I sigh in relief as I finally have some me time. I take out my phone and play some music. I pull off my trench coat and I smile in complete joy. I stretch out my wings as I scan them in the mirror.

I go to a small box where I hide my diary, a brush, and a few other things. I take out the brush and begin to groom my wings. I go softly knowing that my wings are highly delicate. I go even more softer when I hit the feathers on the bottom. I make sure that I don't pull to hard on one of my feathers.

The rest of the time I am dancing to a few songs that play. Then I hear a familiar toon. 'Yesssss! I love this song..' I lay down on my bed to allow the song to drown me in it's lyrics. I mumble the lyrics to my self and I can't help but tap my finger. Then... my thoughts go back to the event that had happened last night.

I blush as I remember the feeling of Dean's hand on my cheek. Then my thoughts go to his lips 'Jesus Cas....'
I go back to just listening to the lyrics coming from the song.

Then I hear the annoying but familiar sound of the door. I freeze in place as I see the door open. Then suddenly I cover my self in the blankets. Rolling into a borrito as Dean walks up to me. "Cass..." I hear dean say softly. 'Oh no no no no no no no no no no no..... no! ' I look up at him to see if he was frightened or regreting being friends with me.

Then I feel Dean hold up my arm. "Cas why?" Dean says. I realise he is referring to the cuts on my wrist. 'Oh phew he didn't see my wings... Oh but he did see my scars... dang it!' I then realise I left Dean waiting on a reply so I quickly think of a answer. " I uhh... it's though for me... I bet you wouldn't understand" I say.

I see Dean's face sadden and he looks at the ground shamefully. " actually Cas... I do." He says pulling up his sleeve. I see scars running up and down his arm. As I look at this I feel my eyes watering.

I move slowly and touch his arm" what was your reason?"I ask. Dean  looks me in the eyes and I could see all the pain he has been holding back for what seems to be forever. " my father wasn't perfect... after my mother died he became abusive and other kids bullied a person like me who would move around a lot. I couldn't handle it... I couldn't handle that everything is my fault the reason Sammy can't have a better backstory to tell all his friends, I blame my mother's death on myself, I blame myself for my fathers change. Cas believe me I understand the feeling of helplessness, so please... Castiel don't do this to your self" Dean says on the verge of crying.

' Don't cry... be strong for Dean'. For a moment I didn't care if Dean saw my wings... I needed to comfort him. I get up form under the covers and hug him. I feel him tense up but then he suddenly hugs me back and cries in the crook of my neck. Then I feel his hands petting my wings. He let's go of me and I could still see the green in his eyes even though his tears are filled in his eyes.

"Dean I will try to stop I promise, from now on I'll tell you everything" I say. Dean nods as I could feel him still petting my wings. I shiver at the touch and stiffen a bit. " Cas what's on your back?" He says a curious look on his face. I look down not ready to tell him but knowing I must. " their... their m-my... wings" I say almost taking back my words.

Dean smiles" c-can I see them?" He asks. I nod slowly shocked by his reaction. I rise up my wings slowly and I could feel his eyes staring at them. " their amazing Cas" he says.

"Y-your not freaked out?" I ask. He shakes his head"nah Cas I have a friend who has an extra toe... plus your my friend I l- uhh except you in what ever form you are" He says. ' Oh my gosh was he about to say he loves me?!!!!!'. I smile like a dork and hide my face away. "T-thanks Dean you don't know how much does words mean to me" I say.

He laughs" alright just stop smiling like that your making it awkward" he says. I smile and feel I weight that was on my shoulders disappear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Later on that night)
Dean's pov
(Also Dean is writing right now)

" oh no no no..... it's Cas. It's Cas who I'll have to kill. Why him? Why? Why? This can't be happening. We just told each other our pasts. I can't I can't do this to him...... I'll lose one of the only people that I truly love, and who truly love me. I can't do this"