To hell and back( destiel college AU)

Bargin

Castiel

Dean quickly pulls Sam into the restroom and locks the door. I put my ear up against the door to see if I could hear anything that they were saying. My heart pounded when I couldn't make out a word they said. «what are they saying in there?.... what does Sam think right now.... is something wrong» were just a few questions that ran through my head. My heart pounded faster, the room began to spin I quickly fell to the floor trying to calm my self down. It was getting harder to breathe so I counted to five over and over till I felt my heart slow down.

I laid there quite on the floor when Dean and Sam came back out. Sam looked destroyed leaving was his only thought. He said goodbye to Dean and me just before he left. Dean turned towards me slightly smiling acting as if it was nothing. I was so tempted to ask what they talked about. Sadly I didn't have the guts for it. I went to bed asking myself many questions which I did not have the answer for any.

That night was uncomfortable with all of the things running in my head. When I woke up Dean was not on his bed. He left a lonely note that had been folded on my desk. I walked up to it slowly opening it. I hesitated to read the words he had written down. This time I was not sure if I should just let it slide, so I began to read the note.

« Dear Cas, this note can explain to you about last night. I know I have a lot to explain, but I don't know how to do it. You see back then when I was young I did not know much about the world. I made many mistakes and daring choices. Most of my choices were for my family though. Well anyway one time I had gotten in a huge fight with my father. It was so bad that he wasn't going to let me see Sam ever again. I had told him I wish he was dead after that fight. I left the motel in rage wishing over and over that my father would die. To my worst of luck my wish came true. Sam had called me saying dad wouldn't wake up and that he wasn't breathing. I rushed there as fast as I could bursting down the door when I got there. Sam was kneeling next to our dead father crying. I asked myself is this my fault.... I didn't actually want this to happen. Then out of no where a guy appears wearing some expensive suit looking like he had a stick up his ass.

I asked him who are you and he replied with I'm an angel, Raphael. I stood up defensively and questioned even more. I asked him to show me proof which he did by showing his big wings that were super bright white. After that he told me he gave me the gift of answering one of my wishes to kill my father. I yelled at him to bring him back. He declined every single time. Finally I was able to bargain with him. He said I'll bring him back if I kill the angel that will rebel against heaven and fall loosing his memories in the meantime. He told me that the angel I would have to kill has black wings and is named Castiel which is you Cas. He also said that I would be given 12 years to do so, but if I failed I will die a horrible death. I agreed anyway so that my father could be alive again. Sam had overheard the whole thing so I told him that if he finds the angel tell me so I could come and get him.

You see Cas I told Sam in the restroom that night that I couldn't kill you because I was in love with you. That it would hurt me more than anything else in the world. I rather die  for you Cas. Your my world, me killing you will be my biggest mistake. I hope you understand now.

Ps. I went out for a walk just for 15 min or so. I just didn't want to see your reaction till after you finished reading this note. »

I held onto the note shocked but crying at his words. Dean was going to die and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I can't convince him to just kill me he had explained it to me in the letter. I will just have to cherish these moments even more than I do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean came back a few minutes after I finished reading the note. I ran up to him hugging him. He pet my hair gently holding me tightly against his chest. I cried into his chest hoping that this was just another terrible dream. Sadly it was real all of it.

_____________________________________
Hope you liked this chapter I will be back tomorrow, oki bye y'all