The Queen: Love's Death || ✔️

Chapter 14: Letting The Heart Speak

Bryson

"No." I said, moving away from Hera. She stared at me with confusion clear on her face.

"W-What's wrong? Is it something I did or said or..."

"... no, I just can't force you into anything we'll both regret later."

"I-I d-don't understand. You asked me on this d-date." She stuttered with tears welling up in her eyes. This was what I was trying to avoid.

This was not part of the plan. I wasn't supposed to want or need Hera. I wasn't supposed to feel my urges kick in and my stomach churn each time she fluttered her beautiful brown eyes. I wasn't supposed to stir in my seat everytime she smiled at me, making me feel happy. Her smile made me light-hearted and caused me to grin at times, but I couldn't allow it to get out of hand.

"Please don't cry." I said to her.

"I don't understand." She whispered while staring at the ground. She didn't have enough courage to face me anymore, I felt so guilty for causing that.

"Hera... I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I don't find you attractive. I do... a lot." I chuckled the last part and she flicked her head up to face me with wide eyes. "You are... not what I imagined." I admitted.

"What?"

"I-I... I..." I stuttered, trying to find the words that I needed to say in order for me to be able to explain myself. "I want you to marry me."

The words came out, but my mind zoned out. I couldn't control what I was thinking in that moment as Hera choked on her breath. These words weren't well thought out, something in me just poured them out. I hated not having control over my words.

"Marry you? Bryson... we just met. I don't know anything about you and you know nothing about me."

"I know enough to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"How?"

"You're different. Most girls, I'd shrug off and wait for them to fuck off. But with you... I want to give you attention. I want to speak with you and see you smile and make you laugh and keep your face gleaming. When I met you for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off of you." Her eyes flicked from my sight to the memory of the meeting, but that wasn't the first time I had laid my eyes on her. "Hera, I don't do relationships. I'm not the boyfriend type. When I find something I want, I take it, regardless of what anyone thinks or says."

"B-But..."

"... but Blade? He can't make you do what you don't want. I can't do the same either. I look at you and I can sense your innocence and purity and that makes me feel guilty for wanting you even more because I know that I can't take what's not mine. So in order for me to taste you, or for you to get to me, we'll have to make it official. I won't act like my head is screwed on properly as I am saying this because it's not. I'm not even sure what I'm saying but I know that I'm making sense. I want you, but can't have you because you're not mine. So I want you to marry me. Be mine."

"It's too soon."

"I don't want an immediate answer. For someone as perfect as you, I'd wait a lifetime. Or till my last breath."

I watched as her breathing hitched from my words and her gaze fixed back to me. She couldn't believe anything I was saying, but I needed her to understand.

I may have not been speaking with my head in that moment, but I was sure of how I was feeling. I wasn't supposed to but I wanted her. I yearned to have her by my side so that I could protect her and make sure that her glowing innocence never faltered. I wanted her to forget about her mother who I had noticed made her sad just by the thought of her and I wanted her to smile for the rest of her life.

I felt the need to heal her and make sure that she was happier than could possibly be. She deserved more than what I could offer, but I was still willing to try. It was sudden and unexpected, even from my side, but it was also certain and hopeful.

"Are you in love with me?" She asked me breathlessly and my eyes widened from the realisation.

I couldn't be in love with her because my mother would kill me. None of this was part of the plan and now I had to extinguish whatever fire I had started. Speaking without the mind was a dangerous thing for a man like me to do.

"No, I'm not in love with you. I'm just being straightforward. I don't do boyfriend-girlfriend relationships and I'm not starting now just because you think we're moving too fast. It's either we get married or we stay away from each other, I don't do in between nonsense. If you have a problem with that then just say so. If not, then decide."

"I didn't mean to make you angry."

"I'm not angry." I said gruffly. I noticed her move away from me and stare in a different direction from me, as though she was trying to distance herself from me.

The rest of the dinner was spent forcefully speaking about business and continuously having to force a smile on each others' faces. I felt so guilty for taking her smile away when all I wanted to do was put it on her face.

After three hours, I decided that it was time for us to leave. Bullet returned, but we couldn't leave until he did an unnecessary search and interrogation on Hera. Bad enough Hera felt uncomfortable around him, Bullet's actions made her even more distanced from me.

I parked the car in front of the front door of her home and saw Zeus, Blade and Poseidon come out of the house. I turned to face Hera and held her hand in mine.

The feeling of Hera's warm, soft and delicate hand in my cold and hard one made me feel like never letting go.

"I can tell that you're confused but I just want to clarify that I'm not angry or frustrated at you. To be honest, I'm frustrated at myself for not being able to figure out what I am actually feeling. I do like you, a lot, and I have come to the conclusion, no matter how crazy it may sound, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't know if it's love because I don't know what love is that well, but I do know that it's strong and I can't avoid it. You make me feel things that I never knew I could and I can't just ignore that fact or feeling. You're special, Hera, and I want you to know that. Which is why I want to marry you. It's up to you from here on out. It does seem hasty and vague but there's nothing that neither you nor I can do about it. All I can do is ask you to marry me and you'll decide whether to say yes... or to say no."

Hera nodded her head and deep in her eyes I saw her understanding and admiration, which made me feel numb. She had the ability to melt my heart without even doing anything.

"I'll think about it." She answered truthfully and I felt relieved. I moved my platinum band from my right hand's middle finger and placed it on her right thumb because her fingers were too thin and delicate. She stared in awe at the modest ring with specially carved patterns on it.

"It belonged to my grandfather, Malcolm Matthews. He gave it to me and told me to give it to my future wife. I... I want you to have it."

"I don't know what to say." Hera said breathlessly.

"Say you'll dream about me just as I will about you." I said to her with a warm tone, something I hardly ever used.

"I will dream about you. I will think about you and I will never take this off." She said and I almost lost my breath. She was such a beautiful soul.

"Goodnight." I said, letting her go just for tonight.

"Goodbye."