Call Me Chase

chapter 13

*the next day*
*about mid afternoon*
*trigger warning toward the end*
Drew's POV:

Drew: *knocking on door* "Hey Chase are you okay? You haven't left the nursery since yesterday"
Chase didnt respond so i opened the door anyway. Chase was laying on the floor wrapped in a blanket. He had fallen asleep against the wall. I kneeled down next to him and tapped his shoulder gently waking him up
Drew: "babe, come on wake up"
Chase: "mhm..."
Drew: "come on seriously Chase you shouldnt be laying on your stomach like that you'll hurt the babies"
Chase: "mhm"
Drew: "Chase come on get up"
Chase sat up and leaned against the wall putting his head in his knees
Chase: "how are you not freaking out"
Drew: "Because it's not something we can change there's no use in panicking.  Just accept that we will have two kids to love instead of one"
Chase: "it just freaks me out.... i never even wanted kids and now suddenly I'm having two. Two!"
Drew: "Chase its going to be ok."
Chase: "i guess so. But right now it doesnt feel like that. Im terrifed"
Drew: "I know"
Chase hugged me and i felt him tense up as i hugged back.
Drew: "Chase whats wrong"
Chase: "why-why do you smell like you were drinking?"
Drew: "babe its not what you think"
Chase: "you told me you would stop"
Drew: "i know i know i did i just i"
I didnt have an excuse. How was i supposed to say that i had been having preparental panic and felt totally unready to be a parent after telling him everything was going to be fine.
Chase: "You're spiraling"
Drew: "Chase its not like that"
Chase: "yes it is Drew im not dumb"
Drew: "i know youre not i just..."
Chase: "babe you have to communicate with me. Its important now more than ever. We are having kids together"
Chase grabbed my hand as he said the phrase and i tensed up hearing him say it. He let go of my hand and looked at me for a moment
Chase: "that's why you're spiraling right? Twins. Drew its like you said we can't change it. We have to do it together"
Drew: "Chase no you dont get it!"
Chase: "I dont get it?? Drew i have two beings full of life growing inside of me. Do you think i don't understand where the panic comes from?! Theyre inside me! I dont get to escape from the thought. Its constantly with me."
Drew: "Its different for you! We feel the same way but you get support groups and pamphlets saying its okay. I get shame and disappointment. Its not the same!"
Chase: "I know its not the same. None of this is the same! Im a pregnant trans boy how complicated do you think that is because i can guarantee you its not as easy as you think it is"
Drew: "Oh my god Chase just stop for a second and think about it. No matter what you have sympathy. I dont. Youre the mom people think this panic is normal for you because hormones. You have it different because youre a girl!"
*POV Change*
Chase's POV:

Youre a girl
Hearing those words come from Drew's mouth hurt. I understood the frustration but to misgender me while i felt this way was a feeling i didnt like. I stared at him, pretty much in shock. I felt a tear roll down my face. The fact that i was hormonal didnt change the fact that he was wrong.
Chase: "Wh-What did you.."
I couldn't complete my thought because i was shooken up i put my head down and started for the door. Drew grabbed my arm to stop me
Drew: "No Chase please i didn't mean that i just i-"
Chase: "youre just tipsy and lack a filter i get it" i tried to continue walking but Drew grabbed my wrist tighter. I was beginning to think he was a little bit more than just tipsy.
Drew: "you cant leave"
Chase: "i can Drew. Now let go"
I pulled my arm, attempting to break free of his grasp
Chase: "Drew let go"
Drew: "No!"
Chase: "Drew i need time let go!"
Drew: "I said no goddanmit"
I didn't have time to process what was happening before it already had and i found myself falling backwards onto the twin bed that sits next to the nursery door . Did Drew just push me? I look up and saw panic spread across his face
Drew: "Im not going to be like him"
Before i had a chance to question him Drew had already made his way down the stairs and out the front door. I didn't understand what was happening