Breaking Zane Blac. //COMPLETED//[But Not Edited ]

Chapter 28

(Still editing)

Kate's POV.

I messed up big time and I knew it, Josh hasn't called me since the incident and I am here crying myself to sleep every night, "I told Emma who was calling to check up on me

"Cookie that's really fucked up, would have loved to come see you but I have something's to attend, so just get your ass out of that bed before you get Fibromyalgia, "Emma shouted through the phone

"What the hell is fibro-, geez I can't even pronounce it correctly, where the hell did you hear that from.

"Shit Kate," I watch Discovery channel dumb ass, so you better get up before you develop whatever that is, "Emma said laughing

"Alright smarty pants, I will talk to you later today, Okay," I said putting my phone down

"I raised myself up from the bed, feeling confused as to what to do next

"I tried inhaling, but nothing entered my lungs. My foggy, dark room was suffocating me, and I needed some fresh air.

I jumped from my bed, reading from the corner of my of eyes 20:30 pm on my nightstand clock, and rush towards my window

"I opened it hurriedly, feel eager for air, the cold night breeze that hit my exposed skin made me shiver a little, I gasped for air greedily telling myself to calm down, but my mind was miles away

"Josh has never been this angry with me before, even when we fought it never passes a day, he would call me to apologize. But now it's almost 4days and not a word from him, I know he has all the right to be angry, but why can't he just get off his high horse and talk to me. I sent him several messages saying I was sorry, and we needed to talk, but he never replied to any of them

So confused as to what to do next and in the middle of it all there was Zane — Zane was always there, and no matter how hard I tried to convince myself of the opposite he was always there

My heart flinched when I remembered Zane's expression when he saw me in that underground fighting match. The anger, The despair, The fear - the accusation and hatred in his eyes, reminding me I did made him suffer terribly

I still couldn't breathe properly, attempting to stop the memories of that night from overwhelming me, I became completely aware of the agony he must have felt after I rejected him -I have already pushed him in to further darkness and made everything completely worse

This raging guilt was eating me up slowly, messing with my heart and mind, and now I really don't know what's right or wrong anymore — I just wanted to live my life without this storming emotions, I'd had to live with every day since

So yes I started dating Josh, wanting to distance myself from those bad emotions and make us both happy

"So I refused to regard what we have as a lie

Now? I wasn't so sure anymore, and the guilt kept eating me up from all sides, making me so vulnerable and so insecure, I couldn't give him all of me, god knows how much I tried too — how long would Josh have to put up with me? How long until I got Zane Blac out of my heart for good?

I did rush into all this with Josh. I started this with him in the midst of confusion and jealousy, clinging onto the thought of him being good for me and him making me forget all about Zane — But my stupid mind keeps wandering back to Zane Blac making me feel like a cheat

My tears soaked my neck and the edge of my shirt, making me feel cold in the freezing breeze, but I didn't mind the cold it helped numb the raging feelings fighting to exploded inside of me, I stared at the leaves of the tree being blown side to side as I fought to keep the anger I felt for myself at bay.

I couldn't keep running from the truth. I had to face the fact. I didn't love Josh. I am in love with Zane. And I had always been in love with him. Regardless of what would happen between Zane and I — if anything would ever happen – I couldn't keep up this facade any further, I couldn't keep lying to Josh anymore

I closed my eyes already shaking from coldness, but I wanted to punish myself so I didn't move. I always made mistakes. So many mistakes.

"I know Josh is still mad at me and would not reply any of my messages but I couldn't pretend nothing had happened, I had to speak to him honestly and tell him I couldn't do us anymore. I had to put an end to this before it turns into something worse, I didn't want to break his heart, but I had to fix this mess I'd create

I opened my eyes, wiping away my tears, about to close my window, when I noticed the movement at the corner of my eyes, I flashed my eyes towards a Ford Mustang with a slightly tinted window parked at the other side of the road — I flinched when I noticed a moment inside the car – like someone had been watching me from inside

I swallowed hard, trying to find who the person could be inside the car, but it was useless because I couldn't see a thing.

"Could I have imagined it? Was someone really watching me?

Closing my window, I glanced at the car again, but there wasn't a single movement – feeling ill at the thought of someone spying on me — Soon enough the car drove off into the night. Leaving me puzzled.

Finally, It took Kate long enough to realize that, or what do you think?
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