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"Happiness is a foreign concept to me, I'm not always sad but I'm definitely not happy, I'm not quite sure what I am and that scares me. The other day I came closer than ever to just going upstairs and ending it all and I've figured out that I'm terrified of what I could do to myself. My greatest fear is facing the fact that no matter what I do there will always be a darkness lurking in my thoughts and dreams. I can't be helped and even if I could be helped I wouldn't want it to be wasted on me. Id want it to be put towards someone who would actually accept the help..... "
-L

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