"It's worse now than ever before. Yesterday I found this picture of me and stopped and stared at it for a few minutes then I put it in this black trashbag. I guess I just am on the end of my ropes and it's fraying. I'm terrified of my old self because of all the innocence I had then. I just want to understand how anybody could love me. I can't even love my self, so how could Anybody love me? And I'm stubborn so I won't listen to what anyone tells me. In my mind I'm not lovable and never will be and I still have that small sliver of hope that maybe somebody could save me but deep down I know that I'll only end up being disappointed. I hate to say it but I want somebody to let me down again so I can realize that nobody cares enough to stay when they realize I'll never be okay. I want to be let down again and again until I can finally see that I'm screwed up and nobody will save me. When I'm finally dying, I'll state proudly Ich Bin Frei."
-L
YOU ARE READING
A series of options Left Behind In Words And Letters
PoetryThoughts, feelings and moments of my past, present and future written down. I can't say much but I like to think that they're goodish. You and I, we're an ocean of love and hatred. A land of chaos and peace, a battle that we're losing with love and...
