I love him but I rather not be..

20: Confusion

: Elaine's POV:

tulala ako ngayon sa may cafeteria namin, ang daming nangyayari besides the fact that i'm with Drake, people thinking we're officially together and Daniel, ughhh nakakabaliw lang.

napakasama kong tao, not only because with what i'm doing to Daniel and my mom, but mostly is to Drake, the reasons why am i pretending, first, i want my family to notice me, i'm tired of being alone and facing everything alone, i desperately need my family so i thought that i if i do this they would go home, second, i want to have a revenge on Daniel, those harsh words he said  just pierced through me and until now i couldn't believe that he was the one to do this to me, all i did was to love him and yet this what i get in return? call me bitter and selfish, but i only did this because i hate my life right now and if this continous on? maybe you'll just see me in a coffin..

" friend okay ka lang?"

nagulat ako dun, si nics pala

"i'm fine, may iniisip lang"

"nako ah tantanan mo yang pagiging tulala mo, tong mga nakaraang araw lagi ka ng ganyan, FO na ba kayo ni Daniel?"

oo FO NA KAMI!! friendship over!!

tumahimik na lang ako, and napansin naman ni nics that i don't wanna talk about it. si Drake naman he was busy with his phone i think kausap niya ang mom niya, he was getting overboard with everything feeling ko ride on na ride on siya  but i don't want him to be hurt in the end, ang bait niya, ang gwapo niya and yet i was just using it for my own benefit, i like him though until now hindi pa ako nakaka move on kay Daniel, eh ilang araw pa lang right?

yung eksena kanina with Daniel, naloka ako dun, hindi ko alam kung paano ako kikilos or if papansinin ko ba siya, nagulat ako bigla na lang siyang lumapit saakin, although alam ko na nasa kabilang room lang siya, when he talked hindi ko alam paano magrereact, he sounded sincere but nauna pa rin yung galit ko sa kanya..he was explaining everything..nakokonsensiya na ko and by the time na dapat haharap na ako sa kanyan, Drake showed up, buti na lang or epic na agad lahat, i avoided him with a poker face but deep inside naawa na ako, haisss ang gulo ko, i know nung umalis kami nakatingin pa rin siya saamin, so i took the opportunity and grabbed Drake's hands.

hindi na ako tumingin pa ulit, because i know Daniel is still looking, everything is making me crazy, unang araw pa lang toh ah..

i was quiet the whole lunch, tinry kong tignan if Daniel was around, pero wala, maybe he's busy with his girlfriend, magsama kayong dalawa!!

"hey, hindi ka ba kakain? magtitime na?" Drake finally talked, kanina pa kasi niya kausap ang mom niya, and it seems na iritable siya..

"ahmm wala akong gana, busog pa ako kasi, marami akong nakain kanina"

"if this about your friend i mean bestfriend, stop it okay, hindi mo kailangan gutumin ang sarili mo for him, he's not worth it.."

nagulat ako sa sinabi ni Drake, he said it with a serious and cold tone, when i looked at him, he was really looking at me.

"anu ka ba it's not about him okay? and please lang stop messing around with my issues" nairita kong sabi, i hate it when he do this, ewan ko ba i'm not a share type sa mga friends ng problems ko madalas gusto ko sinosolo ko, kasi nasanay na rin ako mag isa.

"i'm just trying to help, eventhough we're just pretending it doesn't mean na hindi mo ko friend, Elaine don't keep it all on yourself, that's why you have friends right? try me"

oh God did he just tell me that? even Daniel wouldn't say that to me, he's the first person to say that, bakit hindi na lang ikaw ang nagustuhan ko..