I love him but I rather not be..

27: Hatred

:Elaine's POV:

i was running as fast as i can that i could feel my tears leaving my eyes, as if it longed to be released..

i didn't expect any of this to happen, but what am i suppose do if everything was now perfectly messed up?

i stopped in front of Drake's car, but shit how am i suppose to go home? ughhhh!!! i can't think properly i need to go home, i need to go away as much as i can, the pain, anger, confusion and guilt i just can't take it anymore!!

i started to walk not caring if i was alone and even if i don't know where to go, kailangan kong lumayo sa kanilang  lahat, kailangan ko munang mag isip.

ayan nanaman eh, umuulit nanaman ang lahat, pero mas malala kasi ngayon, ganun na ba talaga ako kamalas dyan?? sa pag ibig na yan?? all i wanted was to be  loved and to love, pero ano? i ended up getting hurt and ruined again..

i don't know what's happening with Drake, may mali ba akong ginawa? did i get too agressive? shit!! shit!! and with daniel?? fuck!! i never thought he would do such a thing.. the pain its unbearable.. it took me a while with some verbal argument..and ngayon??!! its just shit..

i was walking alone..in this dark neigborhood..with no one to rely on when something happens..

beep....beep....

i looked back, my malaking sasakyan na tumigil sa harapan ko, it's a montero red, i'm not familiat of who's car is this, kaya naglakad nalang ulit ako..

"Elaine!"

i know that voice.. that voice that ruined me and my dignity..nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad with a more faster pace, but he was too fast, and i felt arms wrapped around me..

"let me go!! please!!"

"please calm down"

"no!! bitiwan  mo ko! you maniac!let of me!"

wala, masyado siyang malakas..that he even made me sit..nag breakdown na ako..wala na akong maisip..

"shhh...Elaine please stop crying..i'm sorry i was not with myself..hindi ko sinasadya"

"di mo sinasadya?! fuck you Daniel! pang ilan na to.. ilang beses pa ba?! hindi kita inaano..i avoided you dahil ayoko na ng gulo..pero still bakit ganito wala naman akong ginawa sayo!! ang sama mo!! ang sama sama mo!! i hate you!

" Elaine..all i wanted was you!! di mo ba magets?! right from the start Elaine ikaw lang..i tried to stop! but fuck i can't..that shit Drake of yours?!! ilang buwan palang ang bilis ka niyang nakuha sakin!!

"sayo? bakit kelan ba ko naging sayo?!! Daniel anu ba!! mag bestfriend tayo diba?!"

"do you think i didn't know na gusto mo ko?! Elaine naman i'm not stupid not to notice your feelings for me! but obviously wala na..since that drak--"

"why is it na lagi na lang si Drake, it's not his fault na nagkalayo tayo,it's not his fault na hindi naging tayo, it is you who pushed me away, just because you don't like Drake, and kung all along alam mo ang nararamdaman ko, bakit wala kang ginawa? because you don't fucking feel the same way!"

"Elaine i fucking like you!! love you!! shit naman! why would i be so possesive and jealous of him kung hindi kita gusto?! i was scared alright?!! i felt that i'm not good enough for you, i felt that your parents doesn't approve of me! i felt that it was just all infatuation and lilipas din, i felt scared na maghihiwalay din tayo"

he stood up and kicked the car, all along he loved me? wala akong ma process sa nangyayare, it feels that everything is in stasis..i was crying, he was crying, bakit kailangan pang magkaganito ang lahat? is this what really love is?

this is too much..

"pumasok ka na sa sasakyan, ihahatid na kita sainyo" it was cold and emotionless, natakot ako to think na hindi siya nagwala..

sumakay ako sa front seat, and everything was weird and awkward, even the air revolving us was so quiet..

he stopped in front of my house, bumaba siya and opened the door for me, i looked back and i saw na sumakay siya agad and left without even looking back..

i walk inside, it was quiet as what this house always is, i quickly went to my room, i dropped my self to the bed and cried, inever stopped crying doon palang sa bahay nila, hindi ko alam kung may natitira pang tubig sa katawan ko.

Daniel, he loves me? seriously? who the hell would believe that? ginagawa niya lang ata to para sirain kami ni Drake, but when he told me that, it felt good, but it felt wrong at the same time..

for so long i was waiting and hoping that one day he would say that to me..pero hindi ito yung gusto kong mangyare, i don't want anyone to get hurt, lalo na samin tatlo.

i don't know what will happen if this continues, lalo na kay Drake, he waited for me to heal, never niya kong pinilit, pero bakit kailangan pa na ganito..he was there all the time and he never expects na maibabalik ko ang lahat ng nagawa niya for me.. i would rather hurt myself than to hurt him, this so freaking crazy!!

okay i know, it took me a while para mag upload..nagloloko kasi si watty sa phone kaya hindi ako makapag ud..but eto game na ulit!

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Jhamy03