anxiety; trixya

sixteen

trixie had spoken to soon. the next week before her appointment was absolute hell. the whole week she got bombarded with texts from her dad, who was getting more and more impatient with her.

it's started of supposedly gentle. 'trix, just come home.' was the first message. trixie didn't reply. she didn't like her dad. she didn't like him for abusing her mum when trixie was only three years old. she didn't like him for all the verbal abuse he had given trixie after she came out to him. plus she could never, ever forgive him after he slapped her younger sister. that was the final straw.

trixie had been urged by both kim and aja to block her dads number but something in her stopped her from doing it.

over the week the texts got more harsh. "stop being a dyke and come home." "fags will go to hell." "you are a fucking dyke, which means you are a mistake by god, shame on you trixie." "i can't and won't have a dyke daughter, as soon as i find out where you are staying i'm taking you to a conversion camp."

the texts just got worse and worse and trixie was distraught. why did her dad hate her? she felt like it was all her fault. if she could just change and not be gay then maybe he would lay off her, maybe she would be able to build a relationship with him again.

she got into a self destructive mindset. she wanted to punish herself. so she stopped coming out her room. she stopping taking to aja and kim and she would not allow herself to go and see katya tomorrow. she didn't deserve help. she didn't deserve someone as kind as katya to help her. she certainly needed to get rid of the crush on katya as soon as possible and she needed to find a guy to crush on instead.